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Friday, April 30, 2010

Mona Island, Puerto Rico

I've already introduced some of the characters from my book Enchanted Island. Now, I'd like to highlight one of the locations in which the story takes place. Without giving away too much of the story, the main characters end up on a small Island nearly 50 miles from Mayagüez Puerto Rico. Mona Island is described by some, as similar to Galápagos Island. The island is closer to the Dominican Republic, but its history is connected to Puerto Rico. The island was visited by Columbus and Ponce de Leon back in the late 1400's and early 1500's. There is evidence of Taino villages and artifacts pertaining to the history and culture of these gentle people. The island is home to the Mona Iguana, which makes an "appearance" in my book :). The iguana is only found on Mona Island.

Mona Island is kept by the Department of National Resources. There are no permanent inhabitants except for resident biologist and rangers. The sub-tropical island has limestone cliffs with plenty of caves. It's said to have the best snorkeling and scuba sites in the Caribbean. There are beautiful beaches, with one of them allowing camping on its grounds. Special permits are required for camping. Mona Island is not a five-star resort but, rather, a retreat for people who love hiking,exploring, and basically roughing it. There are only 100 people allowed on the island at one time. Most people travel to the island by chartered boat.

So if you're looking for a great adventure, look no further. Find answers to questions about traveling to Mona Island here:

In the beginning of my book, four young friends take a trip to Mona Island. Out of jealousy and spite, one of the characters causes a near fatal accident for another. It's on Mona Island, that a chain of supernatural events start taking place. Mysterious happenings, bring the four friends back to Mona Island years later. Together, the friends learn about love, friendship, and the law of Karma. Find out what happens, in a final showdown on Mona Island!

Mona Island
Scuba diving
Beach on Mona Island
Mona Island Iguana
Cliff side


It took me a very long time to even get my driver license. I was nearly 30 years old. I just never had the driving bug. I attribute that to, me, being some rich snob in another life-time and, being used to getting driven around :) Yeah, we'll go with that. It seems that I have an endless amount of patience for most things but, some things just render me an impatient fool! Like driving, for instance. I'm not the best driver but, certainly not the worst. I obey traffic signs, I'm courteous, and drive mostly at the speed limit ;) Ok, well maybe I need to work on the speed thing a little :) I'm never reckless though.

So, I'm driving this morning, in a school zone. I'm going the posted speed limit, more or less :) Okay, seriously, I was driving properly. The guy on my right has a stop sign and, I, of course, have the right-of-way. He barely stops at the sign, and drives on through. I'm going straight and thinking, wow what a jerk! The funny thing is, he gave me the dirty look. Me? I have the damn right-of-way! Argh! See, that right there gets me annoyed. I have zero patience for that. I know it's so darn petty :D It just really gets under my skin. Driving, all it does is, drive me crazy!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Exchanging Cynicism for Gratitude

I'd be the first to admit that, I can get very cynical from time to time. Romantic love has me very sour, in general. I know it's wrong and, I'm working on it. In the past few months, I've also seen unattractive behavior by those I called friends. That has also rendered me cynical. Just when, I think I'm losing all faith in people, the universe shows me something different. In the last couple of days, I've felt such an outpouring of support, from those that don't even know me. I don't even know how to express how grateful I am. The cynic in me, wants to question, why? But I won't. I will be gracious and accept support in any form. I will honor it by, paying it forward. To those, that offer words of encouragement, and support, I truly thank you! Miriam Slozberg, I sincerely thank you, for extending your generosity. You are one in many, that have given me that extra confidence boost.

Networking and Support

I really have to hand it to people in the marketing and advertising fields. It's a tough job! I think I can safely say, for me, writing my book, Enchanted Island, was the easiest part. Getting people interested in the book, was not that hard. It's the getting people to dig into their pockets, is what's proving a bit difficult. There are those I never thought would purchase and read my book, then there's the ones I thought for sure would jump on it, and haven't noticed it at all :). I search everyday, for ways to market the book, it's really like having a part-time job. In networking with other writers, and business orientated people, there were some sites and even individuals, eager to network.

Since I know how hard it is to get the word out about my book, I'm going to dedicate this blog to those people and sites that have been kind to me. Taking an interest in my work, and using networking sites for their intended purpose, networking :) Please take the time to check any one of these people or sites out.

My partner, R.C. Berry is a talented new author. She's one to look out for. Her debut novel Set in Stone: The Life and Death of Medusa, is very well written and hard to put down. It will make a Greek Mythology fan out of anyone. Please check it out here:

On Facebook, a good friend of mine has a page Unseen NYC. It 's a wonderful page where you can go and have all the information you need to see NYC. The page concentrates mostly on the other four boroughs of NYC, since most sight seeing books mostly cover Manhattan. It is a wonderful tool.

On facebook, every writer trying to get their work out there should join the group, For The love of Books,This group is a great way to connect authors, and readers. I have received great support from the group. I highly recommend it. Show some love by joining:

Another great Facebook group is Online Networking Connections. It's created by Cara Wadsworth. The concept is simple, post your link for others to view, and in turn view links that others post. Support each other and create a bigger network.!/group.php?gid=109842132370422&v=wall&ref=ts

Here on Wordpress, Cherilaser was the first ever to comment on my blog and give me useful tips. If you're reading this, thanks Cheri! For everyone else you can find Cheri here Thank you, all who have contributed to my blog. You make my life a little more interesting.

I hope you all get a chance to check out these few links, I'm sure you will enjoy them.

Stop Being Such a Kiss-ass, Will Ya?!!

Everyone knows this person. You know, the one who sucks up to everyone. Just relax and be yourself and, maybe, someone will surprise you and like you, just the way you are. There's nothing worse that a woman, who is so desperate to win the love and affection of a man, by kissing his ASS!! It's nice to want to show the object of your affection that you're interested in things they like, or just their life in general. What is not cool, in my opinion, is to totally lose yourself. Lose everything that makes you an individual. You start talking like them, you get yourself situated in every aspect of the person's life. Suck up to their friends and family. Just basically becoming a brainless groupie! Does anyone really enjoy such a person? Is it just me? It's like the person is perfect, they love what you love. They think what you think. They worm their way into the lives of your friends, to win brownie points. All to make sure they secure their place. Going overboard on the complements. Always having a comment from the peanut gallery. Sticking their nose in any business that involves the person they're obsessing over. Even when it doesn't concern them. It's kinda like the movie, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Only in this movie, the character was doing all she could to turn the guy off, on purpose. Just your average things that drive a man away. That was comedy, in real life, it's not funny! It's a little demeaning. My friend, has women in his life that do this publicly. I'm so embarrassed for these women, because he laughs at them. Calls them crazy or stalkers. If you ask me, he's the crazy one, cause he eats it up. He keeps them around, probably to feed his big fat ego. I say shame, shame, shame. Stop being such a kiss-ass, will ya?


Anyone who talks to me, will find out in five minutes, or less, that my favorite singer is Alanis Morissette. When she first debuted, it was at a time when I was coming off of my first bad break-up. Her lyrics and the way she delivered them, resonated with me. Years later, they still do. That's one of the many reasons I love her so.

Since the beginning of 2010, I noticed that I was surrounded by many self-centered people. Until I started doing something important for myself, I had not notice this before. I'm the type of person that, would rather sit back and let others have the spotlight. It's just not important for me, to be the center of attention. I've always been like that. This brings me back, to one of Morissette's songs.

The song is simply titled, Narcissus. When I was having a hard time in my last relationship, this song spoke volumes as to the type of person I was dealing with. Now that I find myself dealing with a number of this type, I feel compelled to share it here. :)

The good thing is, I've weeded out some of the people who were prone to narcissistic tendencies. I'm in a much more peaceful place, than I was just a couple of months ago.

I've pointed out a few of my favorite lines in the song. So, without further ado, I present Narcissus by Alanis Morissette. (Under Rug Swept album)

Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me

Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity <--- love this
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance <--- Especially love the next for lines
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to
Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit <--- The ex..this is def the ex!
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't
Want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

For The Love of Reading

As I scour the internet, to drum up interest for Enchanted Island, I'm finding that, many of our young people don't like to read. I've seen on countless social networking profiles, statements like, "I don't need books, I hate reading." It saddens me to see such things coming from our youth. Taking a closer look, a majority of these statements are coming from minorities. It makes me wonder,what made them so adamant about not reading? I remember back to when I was younger, how much I enjoyed reading. In my teen years, I only stuck to one genre, but at least I was reading. As I got older, I branched out into different genres and reaffirmed my love of reading. I can remember when I was just a little girl, my mother would make sure that I had books to read. I fondly remember books from my youth and how my mother took the time to read them to me. My favorite story was Harry and The Terrible Whatzit by Dick Gackenbach. Great memories come to mind as I recall that time. I question whether these youngsters that dislike reading so much, had the same experience. I'm gathering, perhaps not. When I became a mother, I followed my mother's example and, bought lots of books for my children. My son started kindergarten at age four and, already knew how to read. My youngest, I swear, she came out of the womb talking. I'm not in any way saying I deserve, mother-of-the-year award. I just wish more parents would instill a love of reading. It's disheartening to read statements from our youth, that they hate reading. I'm not sure if it's a matter of them not having stories and characters to relate to, or just exactly what I pointed out before. Parents not taking the time to read and stress the advantages of reading. Even more so, now, it's my mission to create stories for those who feel slighted. Writers write what they know about, so the question should be, are there enough minority writers in the main stream? I'm not so sure. Growing up, I don't believe I ever read a story with Latino characters. I'm sure they had to be out there, just not readily available. My hope is that, I can help to change this situation. For the love of reading! Our minority kids need to be engaged.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

What Exactly Constitutes a Real Latino/Hispanic etc...?

Around two weeks ago, I was called a fake Puerto Rican, by a wet-behind-the-ears, 16-year-old. Not sure what really prompted this statement. I can only guess, it had something to do with music. My daughter and her friend were sitting on the couch, listening to an Ipod, when the statement was made. I was in the kitchen and not really privy to the conversation. First of all, she’s lucky I didn’t backhand her, I’m one of those people who believe, I’m not a friend, I’m a parent, and should be spoken to as such. She’s also not my kid, so in this day and age I’d be arrested for assault. I just gave her a “whatever” response. Secondly, what makes her think she has a firm grasp of what I am and what I’m not?

Then again, I was reading some discussion boards and the question came up. Is speaking Spanish required to be considered truly Latino? I don’t know if it’s just me, because of my situation but, I think the answer to that question is no. Quickly about my background, I was born to a Puerto Rican father, who was actually born there, and came to New York. My mother’s parents were both from Puerto Rico and settled in New York, where she was born and raised. She was number 9 of 10 kids. They spoke Spanish to each other and English to the kids. So all of the cousins and so on, were brought up with English as their first language. Most of us understand Spanish very well but, speak it horribly. That was my upbringing.

So, should I gather that, I’m less Latino than a Spanish-speaking Latino? If I’m not Latino, then what am I? I’m pretty sure I’m human, at least last time I checked, I was :D …I know I’m American because, I was born in the United States. But am I a real Puerto Rican? Okay, maybe a Nuyorican ;) ?… Of course speaking Spanish would be ideal. I don’t have anything against speaking it, or even learning to speak it more fluently. Am I less Puerto Rican, even though I was brought up with the culture, customs, food, dance and music? I just happen not to speak Spanish very well. Am I less, Latino because I’m not great at Latin dancing and Spanish music is not my preference? I love it! But I prefer Alanis Morissette, Evanescence, Sade, and not to mention, some alternative and rock music more. I was raised Catholic but, choose not to practice it, in favor of a more Eastern philosophy. I meditate, I believe in past lives, I’m consume a vegetarian diet, and love “new-age hippie” stuff.

Does this teenage girl have a right to call me a fake Puerto Rican? Does anyone? Isn’t it all about your heritage and how you embrace it? The feeling you carry inside, as well as the DNA? It reminds of the issue in the African-American community about not being black enough. What the hell does that mean, really? Fake Puerto Ricans, “acting white”, not black enough etc…It gives me a headache! I suppose, my Nuyorican, rice and beans eating, Spanglish speaking, fake Puerto Rican self, should end this post. :)

Women Desperate to Prove Their Presence In a Man's life....

On the next Maury! How desperate do you have to be, to make a fool out of yourself on a social networking site like Facebook? I have a friend who’s on the slimy side, which I know all to well, has his “ex-girlfriend” making a fool of herself for him. If she only knew what she was dealing with, she would be mortified. The sad part is, I fear she does, and could care less. Maybe I’m just too full of pride. I just can’t see me desperately trying to let EVERYONE know, that she is involved with him. Who isn’t? :D … I was, up until the ending of last year! Yeah, I know, gag me. The one thing that I can feel good about is that, I had enough sense, to keep my shit undercover! She’s blasting her business out about her babee, and he’s giving the business to everybody! Oh no pardon me, he’s selective sorry! Yeah right…I stopped going on his page and just about ready to get rid of him altogether. I suppose I shouldn’t delay the deletion any longer. His status appeared on my page and I looked at the comments. I nearly fell off my chair :D He put it out there that, it was his last day of his vacation, and wondered if anyone had any suggestions. …Early on in the thread, she states her intent to visit him. Later on now, she’ basically told everyone, that they did the do. How classy is that? All of the ten years, I’ve known him, he appreciated privacy. Not till this dimwit came along. She had to make sure she lifted her leg and pee’d all over his social networking pages. It started, some two-odd years ago, and hasn’t let up. He’s gone on vacation with other women, dated me and probably countless other ladies, and here she is publicly swearing her undying love to him. It’s just pathetic. Usually I laughed it off but, today I’m working on one and a half hour sleep and I’m probably irritable. I get so upset with women doing this. He was once somebody I loved, so I’m sure that has a lot to do with my bleh feeling. Yet, another lady, let it be know that she spent the man’s vacation with him. So here comes dimwit, determined to finish off his vacation with a “happy ending” Really? You’re okay with having sloppy seconds? What is wrong with some of us women? A lot of women, actually! For all she knows, this guy could have been shagging up a storm with this other chick, and here she, um uh…comes. Ugh! Lord help me, sometimes I just want to slap people. Yeah, I know, I’m working on those violent tendencies :D It’s only ignorant-ass women that piss me of so! I’ll feel better after a nice sleep tonight. I’ll go back to being indifferent. I look forward to it :)


According to Wikipedia:

Some chameleon species are able to change their skin colors. Different chameleon species are able to change different colors which can include pink, blue, red, orange, green, black, brown, light blue, yellow and turquoise.

Some varieties of chameleon – such as the Smith’s dwarf chameleon – use their color-changing ability to blend in with their surroundings, as an effective form of camouflage

Color change is also used as an expression of the physiological condition of the lizard, and as a social indicator to other chameleons. Some research suggests that social signalling was the primary driving force behind the evolution of color change, and that camouflage evolved as a secondary concern.

Have you ever met a person with this ability? I have. Somehow, I didn’t find the ability to change colors as fascinating in humans. As a matter of fact, I found it quite bothersome. I really dislike when a person changes colors in any given situation, to go along with the consensus. They camouflage who they really are. I’ve been in situations where I know for sure someone feels one way about something, but because it’s not popular, they conform-change colors. I don’t get that. For example, if someone loves Cheerios,but another expresses a dislike for them, the chameleon now also dislikes them. What is that all about? Silly example, but you get my point. I’ve been in a group situation with people I know very well, and witnessed this chameleon type behavior. Obviously, I’m not talking about situations that call for proper decorum, and people following suit. I’m referring to casual gatherings where there should be no pressure. What compels an individual to drastically depart from who they are? Is the desire to be accepted that strong? I’ve often felt like, the oddball. I just kept stuff to myself, rather than change who I am to be popular. There’s nothing wrong with adapting to your surroundings but, shouldn’t there be a line drawn somewhere? There comes a time, when it’s just fake. I can’t trust a person like this. It makes me think, perhaps, I don’t really know them after all.

Let The Fun Begin

On Wednesday, April 7th my book Enchanted Island was officially published! Since then, it’s been non-stop promotion. I’ve taken to my social networking sites,letting people know that the book was now available. There were some sales made during the presale and some over this past weekend. It’s hard work promoting :-/ I have to hand it to people in the advertising and marketing fields, but I will never regret my decision to self-publish. I’m not afraid of hard work, and the rewards will be so much greater, once things really start taking off. Right now, I’m taking it all in. This experience is so surreal. I have people close to me, fascinated and asking questions about the writing process. I’m getting questions on what prompted me to write the story. People are interested! Interested in something I’ve created! That doesn’t happen too often. I’m the type of person that would love fly under the radar forever. It’s all about stepping out of my comfort zone this year. Let the fun begin!

Monday, April 5, 2010


I'm wondering, what prompts people to think that, everything is about them? In the past few weeks, I've had a certain family member speak before thinking, resulting in them feeling foolish for making assumptions. People in my social circle think this blog is about them, please, why? I've dedicated a few posts to very specific people. One, being my mother, the other a close friend, and made mention of one specific relative in another. They can assume correctly that, the posts were about them. Any other posts, are general. I do have more than one friend. Shocking to some but, true. So chances of this blog being about ONE person, are slim. I do have more than one person in my life :D.. This blog and its topics, cover just about anybody. A majority of people in my life, at this moment, display this, all about me attitude. I've noticed it a lot lately. The funny thing is, the person behind my thoughts in this blog, is clueless. He is the most vain of them all. This is where I'm working out my feelings regarding this person. And wouldn't you know it, vanity took over and, others have convinced themselves that it's about them. Bravo! I'm glad I know about this trait now, before I invested too much in them. I must have a knack for choosing the same type of people in my life. How, one person, can be bothered by what's in my blog, when its subject matter is mostly focused on another, is comical. And now to quote the person that inspires the blog, "Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups" For those that are reading this blog, family or friends, if you feel like something I said was directed towards you, then maybe you should check yourself :)...What is lacking in your life that, you feel everything is about you? Why are you on this blog? This blog is not meant for people to think, I'm talking about them in particular. I speak about things I see all around me, not specific to one person. Sadly, what I speak about, goes for many people I know, at the moment. Most that I speak about, are in my real life daily. Not some half cyber, half real life relationship. Through conversations with friends, I've found that, vanity is running rampant these days, which prompts me to take to writing about it. Maybe if this blog bothers someone so much, it's because they're feeling self-conscious or guilty. What are they really taking exception to? Funny, how people perceive things. I'm reminded of that Carly Simon song. You're so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you. Don't you?

Do We Have to Like Everyone?

Have you ever had that one person,who you just could not stand? No matter what you do, no matter what they do, you just don't like them. For starters,your personalities don't mesh, and once they do something you don't like, that's it! Is it just me? Am I not forgiving or do I lack compassion? What happens when this person is a relative? I have a relative that drives me so insane, I just can't find anything I like about them. It makes me sad because, I was able to forgive ex-partners after they've hurt me, yet I can't find it in my heart to tolerate this relative. Something about their personality causes such disdain. I've been going through torment lately because, as time goes on, the less redeeming this person gets. I've attempted several times, to call upon my compassion and it worked. Just not for long. I give the person respect, but not much more. I see this person regularly and, I do feel bad that I can not muster up any fondness. Is giving the person respect enough on my part? Do I have to like this person? Or is it okay to not like somebody? It's not without reason that, I do not care for this person. I'm not one, to just dislike somebody for no reason. I feel this is somewhat of a failure for me because, I'm not yet evolved to the point of where I want to be. It's very frustrating. You would think, this could be achieved easily with a little effort. But wow, what an effort it takes. Maybe the fact that I feel badly about it, is a step in the right direction.

Closer to 40

With my 38th birthday coming up in May, I find myself looking forward to 40. I hear great things about the 40's. The thing that most intrigues me, is the prospect of coming into my own. The freedom to be who I am and, not apologize for it. I feel like it's slowly beginning already. There are things that happen to me now, that I feel are not the end of the world. Back in my 20's and early 30's these same things would bother me. For example,in the past, family members and friends alike, had decided for some unspoken reason to cease communication with me. Never giving an explanation. Years ago that would have bothered me. The family members that did this, then realized how wrong they were, and made amends. Of course, I welcomed them back and didn't hold a grudge. That was the old me. These same family members decided to do this same thing that I speak of, once again. This time around, I said "To hell with this!" I don't care why, one day they speak to me then the next day they don't. Screw em'. I'm not wasting anytime on people who do this. This goes double for people not related to me. If it makes them happier not to deal with me, then I'm glad they're gone. More power to them, I guess they showed me! :D.... It's such a refreshing change, to have matured to a point where, I don't even give it much thought. The older I get, the less patience I have for petty nonsense. I speak of it now, to acknowledge the growth that has taken place. Slowly, but surely, those that are not conducive to my personal growth, are being weeded out. These were the same people, I thought would be in my life for the long haul. The fact that I am now estranged with this people, is a testament to my growth. In me carrying on with my life, without falling to pieces, I congratulate myself.

A Few of My Favorite Things

I was watching television last night, and just had the best time :)...There's a new show on ABC called Modern Family. It has got to be the most refreshingly funny show on television right now. The writing is so clever and subtle. The characters are magnificent. Each and every character makes the show work. There are favorites, but if one was taken out of the equation, it wouldn't work as well. I highly recommend this show. If you haven't seen it, you can go to to watch full episodes.

Another one of my favorites is House. Ohh how I love Dr. Gregory House. The show is a drama, but it has so much humor in it as well. The character House, is so over the top but, everyone loves him, even though they profess a strong dislike for him. He's a brilliant doctor who solves very rare and complicated medical cases. It's so worth watching. You can catch house on

Also on Fox, you can watch Glee. I'm not usually into musicals, but this show is absolutely wonderful. It's not just the singing that's great, the storyline keeps you intrigued as well. Right now it's on hiatus, but will be returning soon. Yet another one of my favorites is So You Think You Can Dance, also on Fox. I have to admit to watching some reality shows. They are my guilty pleasures. But this reality dance show, is better than Dancing With The Stars in my opinion. It's showcases a multitude of dance styles, including ballroom. It's good entertainment.

I have many other favorite television shows, but those were the ones that popped into my head first. Now onto movies. I love movies! My recent favorite movie is definitely Avatar. I actually went to the theater four times to see it. Yes I did say four. The movie is visually stunning! If you have a chance to catch this in the theaters before it's gone, DO IT. Many people have trashed the storyline, citing it as weak and predictable. Well, yes, it has many other story ideas incorporated into it. But for me, it was told in a different way. Yes it reminded me of Pocahontas. It also reminded me of my other favorite movie, The Matrix. I must be strange because, I enjoyed the story. In any event, I highly recommend this movie.

As I just mentioned, up until Avatar, my favorite movie was The Matrix. Like Avatar, The Matrix set a new trend in movie making. I have a raging crush on Keanu Reeves, so that helps. The storyline was fascinating to me. The action was great, as well as the fight scenes. I enjoy all genres of movies. My favorites include silly comedies, drama, thrillers, and I love a good horror flick. The following are just a few, in many of my favorites: Napoleon Dynamite, Austin Powers series, The Hangover, Forest Gump, Braveheart, Gladiator, Troy, Titanic,Friday,Crash, The Breakfast Club...Just to name a few :)

I also love music as much as I do television and movies. My all time favorite artist is Alanis Morissette. She made a big splash back in the 90's but her music is still relevant to me today. It's a shame her music is not as mainstream as her first CD, Jagged Little Pill. I love her vulnerability in her lyrics. She's not afraid to share her journey through life. Through her music, you can get a glimpse of her obvious growth from when she first debuted. It's amazing, I feel like I've grown right along with her. I found that with each of her albums, I identified with her songs, at that particular time in my life. She was singing my thoughts exactly. If you haven't gotten to know this artist, give her a try.

I enjoy most top 40 hit songs-Pink, Lady Gaga etc. But my taste is all over the map. My Ipod is loaded with all types of music. Outside of Morissette, I love Sade, Evanescence, classic R&B, old school hip-hop, various alternative, 80's music-Madonna, Prince, Michael Jackson, classic rock, oldies...

So, there you have it, a few of my favorite things :)

Sex, Lies, and Videotape

In this day and age of camera phones, YouTube, and social networking sites, how safe is it to send your significant other naughty photos? I was never a real fan of this. Not that I ever aspired to be president or some other public figure, I just never wanted sensitive photos of me surfacing. It's amazing how quickly love turns to hate, when a relationship is over. You never really know what an ex-partner is capable of, once you both part ways.

I bring this up because, while I was away with my girlfriends for the weekend, we met this guy and he showed us a very explicit video of his ex-wife. He was a decent enough guy to hang out with for a while, but he was not shy at all about sharing details about his ex. At the time, I didn't really think much about it. After some time has passed, I'm thinking back and wondering what his ex-wife would feel about, him showing us that video.

Shouldn't there be some kind of etiquette involved, when sharing sensitive photos and videos with a significant other?

Case of The Fake People

Okay, what is it with people who can't face up to the truth of their actions? Those impulsive ones, are the ones that I speak of. The people who think the world is out to get them. I mean, people will be so quick to want to retaliate, for some offense they think has been committed against them. After some unspecified amount of time, think it over and, realize they're an idiot. After the realization that they are, indeed, an idiot, they continue on, like they haven't made an ass out of themselves.

There are those that make very public declarations, in a round about way, about those supposed offenses. Make a public attempt to rid themselves of the offenders, then a few days later, behave as though they didn't stick their foot in their mouth. They want to carry on,hoping beyond all hope, that the offenders remain ignorant of their declarations. Well, I'm here to say, I notice! And I think it's down right pathetic behavior. It's fake. A facade.

If someone is so bold, as to publicly accuse others of transgressions, then be bold enough to face the aftermath. Don't behave as if you haven't accused anyone of supposed crimes. Own up! It's the case of the fake people, bleh!

A Little About Juan, from Enchanted Island

With physical attraction and chemistry on the brain, I suppose it's a good time to introduce another character from Enchanted Island. Juan Torres, he fits the physical attraction category well. If you haven't gotten a chance to meet the other characters in Enchanted Island, check them out here :

Juan Torres is the older, attractive friend of Gilberto Padilla. We first meet Juan when the other characters, Gabriella, Molly and Gilberto, travel to Puerto Rico. Juan is fourteen, while the others are just twelve years old. With Gabriella being mature for her age, Juan takes a liking to her right away. This is much to Molly's dismay, as she developed a crush on Juan immediately. Juan is well-mannered like his friend Gilberto. He lives with his mother, next door to Gilberto's vacation home in Puerto Rico. He displays confidence, and is pro-active when he wants something, or someone.

As Juan ages, he grows to be, the epitome of tall,dark and handsome. At some point, Gabriella joins Molly in admiring Juan. The physical attraction is dangerous, considering, that Gabriella and Gilberto have always had a thing for each other. The chemistry taking place in the group of friends, only complicates things. Juan is not afraid to take action, when it comes to the object of his affection. Although, he respects the relationship Gabriella and Gilberto have, he doesn't hesitate to put it all on the line.

As time goes on, Gabriella finds it much more difficult to stay away from Juan. Gilberto is her best friend and, they too have obvious chemistry. But the chemistry with Juan is more of the physical kind. The chemistry with Gilberto is emotional. Juan finds himself in Gilberto's shadow, since Gabriella has Gilberto on a pedestal. I have to admire his grace in handling the delicate situation. I can identify with Gabriella's tendency to be drawn to Juan. He represents the man's man, the take charge, steadfast guy, that women might not admit desiring, in these days ;)

Find out more about Enchanted Island here:

Relationships, Monogamy, and Cheating , Oh My!

A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry about physical attraction. Not just your average attraction, the primal kind :)... I mentioned how it feels like all control is lost, when in the presence of that one person you find irresistible. This doesn't pose any real problem if you're single. The real conflict arises, if you're already in a committed relationship, or married, when you encounter strong physical chemistry with another. I can tell you, I've been cheated on in all three of my serious relationships. It has damaged me beyond repair, so it seems. I'm still working on the recovery process :( ...When I think about my heartbreak, though, I'm more hurt and upset over the deceit. All the lies it took to cover the cheating behavior. Of course, the act itself hurt as well. Somehow, I was able to deal with the sex act a little better. It sickened me to think about my partner having sex with someone else, but knowing they had feelings for the other person, damaged me the most. After my last heartache, I really started looking at love, sex, and relationships a lot differently. For one, I think the chances of me marrying are very slim. I also find myself thinking about "alternative lifestyles." Up until now, I felt that there was one person for everyone, tailored made. I guess that would be considered a soul mate huh? After going through all I did, in my relationships, I now find myself cynical. I used to hate when people would say, "We're animals and it goes against our nature to be monogamous." I felt, humans had evolved and were civilized enough by this point. I now feel, somewhat, different. Maybe it's more, me being scared to believe in what I once did. I mean, I do still believe that, humans are evolved to the point of knowing how to control their urges. I guess now, I'm thinking, maybe we shouldn't try so hard. If society as a whole became more open to "alternative lifestyles", I wonder, how much happier would folks be? For those who truly want to practice monogamy, kudos, that's beautiful. With the taboo lifted from open marriages, and polygamy even, maybe more people would respect each other more. There would be no real reason, to go out-of-the-way to deceive. I'm at a point where I, both, hate and love my new thought process. How wonderful it would be, to have a couple of husbands, to fulfill different needs. It just goes against everything that I ever believed about love. Although, I don't feel the same, I find it so hard to part ways with the idea, of that one true love. I would hate to think of myself loving someone again, for them just to stray outside the relationship and hurting me. Would it be better if there was an agreement before hand, that either party could take on a lover, or another spouse, even? If it was readily accepted in society, I wonder how many people would be for it? I strongly feel that, my next relationship will be set up in this fashion. I've gone through the pain of my partners straying, so, it would be nothing new, just out in the open now. Would I feel better if I had the same option in the relationship? Hell yes! For me, the saying "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander" is very important. Although, I've never stepped out, in any relationship I was in, believe it or not :)... Any person that has cheated on me, has had the nerve to be jealous and start drama AFTER we've broken up, and dated other people. Can you believe the nerve? They cheated on me and, giving me hell about dating someone new. I truly don't think it's fair, for only one person to have the option to step out of the relationship. I don't get how the people committing the offense, would not be so understanding, of their partner taking on another lover. Why not let them be happy too? I keep flip-flopping about this topic. This is why I haven't pursued a relationship yet. I would love to find one person to make a happy life with, I just don't have faith in coupling at the moment. If someone can come along, and change my mind, I invite them to do so ;)... But for now, I will definitely be looking for a different type of relationship. I'm not sure, If I could completely handle it, but what's the alternative?

Physical Attraction

What is it about those people who, render us, an incoherent mess? I'm talking about those we have an immense chemical reaction to. The ones we lose all common sense with. Just being in their presence, you can't help but be more giddy and,well, dumb. You know you're losing grip on your intelligence, but you just don't care. Most times, they possess all the physical attributes you find attractive. They excite you because they're so different from you, yet they seem to have the same intense attraction towards you. A simple touch of their hand, sends your body into shivers that you can still feel, days later. You would think, with all the chemistry that, a long lasting partnership would follow. In my experience, I have yet to form an unbreakable bond with such a person. My last relationship continued, somewhat, five years past our actual break-up. It was because of this physical attraction why it went on as long as it did. It was almost dysfunctional,well, not almost, it was. There was a lot of passion, which made it hard to walk away. I felt as if I was not in control of my will. Even with all the drama surrounding the ill-fated relationship, there was never a lack of desire and passion. It seems almost cruel not to be able to go the distance. Why is it that we give so much of ourselves in a situation like this? Or am I alone in this? I'm not so sure I am. I know both men and women that have risked losing a loving, stable relationship in favor of an ongoing super-charged escapade. I would love to know if there is a science behind it. I know, vaguely, about pheromones and such but, do we attract specific people to us? I need to investigate this further :)

Enchanted Island´s Proof

Okayyyyyy! I'm so excited! The proof for my book Enchanted Island has arrived. This is the most exciting thing to happen to me in a very LONG time. All the printing company needs, is the go ahead. The book will be printed and, ready for sale in just days. This has been such a wonderful experience for me. I always enjoyed writing, I just never liked the part where I shared my work. I decided to step out of my comfort zone, the ending of last year. I knew it was now or never, because I truly wanted to change my circumstances. I was at a point in my life, where it seemed like, everything I touched went to hell. I was struggling financially, along with countless others, on account of this bad economy. I'm proud of myself for then taking control, and doing something. I don't know what will become of my book, but I have hopes that people will enjoy it. I would be lying if I said I didn't dream of becoming some famous author. My author friend and I, spend the time away, imagining the endless opportunities. I'm proud of myself for accomplishing what I set out to do. I started it, and I completed it. There are so many people who start writing a novel, but never see it through. I did it, working 12 hour days, attending my kids' basketball games and any other responsibilities that come with being a single mom. Of course, I hope this new path, will lead to a great success beyond my wildest dreams. Truth be told, I already feel successful. Anything that comes next, is going to be icing on the cake. Today is a great day. Thanks be to the gods ;)

Miss Molly Sinclair

Awaiting the book proof in the mail today! So, I'm very excited, anxious,nervous, antsy, and everything in between. I'll take this time, to introduce another character from Enchanted Island. Here are the other two characters I've already introduced:

Now onto the next. Molly Sinclair, the girl you really want to hate, but feel sorry for, so you don't. She has everything handed to her, yet she wants what others have. Molly is the stereotypical, spoiled, rich girl. Her parents barely acknowledge her existence, so she constantly seeks attention from anyone. We first meet Molly when she strikes up a friendship with Gabriella, which soon turns complicated.

Although, Molly has everything, she envies what little Gabriella has. But what Gabriella has, can not be measured. She has the love and attention of her mother. Unlike Molly, she wasn't born into a life of privilege, which makes her humble. Molly is anything but humble, she's vain, and imagines that every boy could be hers if she wanted.

As Molly enters her teen years, her vanity is still very much a part of her personality. Her desire to be valued, causes her to make bad choices. Molly appears to be so sure of herself but, she really has no clue. She's the type of girl, who wants to be so grown-up, yet she's naive and immature.

Molly is not without positive traits, she has a playful nature and can bring humor to sometimes tense situations. In between her lapses in judgment, she does have the ability to be a good friend. With the same intensity she loves herself, she has the capacity to love others. And when Molly loves, she loves for keeps.


I was watching the show Desperate Housewives last night, and something just struck me as mildly annoying. There's a character on the show, Catherine, a heterosexual woman, so it would seem. She recently had a sexual experience with a woman. She goes through all sorts of torment trying to figure out if she's a lesbian, and is totally confused. A neighbor drops by her home, and witnesses Catherine, on the receiving end of affection by the woman she had the experience with. The neighbor, Susan, goes home to her husband and tells him about Catherine being a lesbian now. Here's my thing, it's fine if she is, indeed, a lesbian now. But why does everyone just gloss over bisexuality? This woman, Catherine, had been married and very much attracted to men. She lost her mind, actually, over losing the man she loved. So, she gets a new roommate who, happens to be a very attractive lesbian. One night, they get together, now all of a sudden Catherine is being labeled a lesbian. Granted,the storyline just started, so I have no idea where it's heading. Never once did the word bisexual enter the equation. I hope the writers of the show make mention of it. There's hardly ever bisexual characters on these shows, most are boxed into being either straight or gay. Now that I come to think about it, the show House, is the only show I watch, with a bisexual character. So, I would love to see Catherine embrace her attraction to both sexes. It would be more realistic and a breath of fresh air, if you ask me. I'm not at all suggesting that, one can't suddenly realize, that they're gay. I'm just merely suggesting that, the situation not be so cut and dry. Sexuality is fluid, and one can fall anywhere within the spectrum.

Enchanted Island´s Gilberto Padilla

As the release date for Enchanted Island grows near, I'd like to introduce another character from the story. If you missed my first character introduction, here it is The next character is Gilberto Padilla, he becomes Gabriella's best friend, within days of first meeting her.

Gilberto enters the picture at a time when Gabriella feels, most unappreciated. He's the new student that has a lot in common with the isolated young girl. Gilberto is the first kid Gabby's age, to offer her sincere friendship. He's polite but makes no bones about sticking up for Gabby when the need arises. He comes from a two parent home and raised to be a good-natured and respectable boy. Most likely, the reason he never speaks about the instantaneous crush, he developed on Gabby, upon meeting her. He's the kind of kid everyone gets along with, and because of that, become kinder to Gabby, since she's his best friend.

As Gilberto gets older, he continues to evolve into the all-around perfect gentleman. He's handsome, and possesses all the traits a girl would want in a boyfriend. His bond with Gabby grows stronger, as he finds himself helplessly in love with her. He represents security, and unwavering loyalty. Gilberto is Gabby's rock, and safe haven.

In creating Gilberto, I wanted to portray a young, Latino, boy in a positive light. Often times, in movies and on television,Latino boys are causing trouble, in a gang, or selling drugs. Gilberto is the opposite of all that. He comes from a hard-working family and respects his parents. He's the type of boy that's, safe to bring home to meet the parents. I find myself still wondering, why I haven't met my Gilberto yet :)

For more information on Enchanted Island please visit

The Age Factor

After the very first person I dated, I vowed never to date anyone younger than me,once that relationship went south. That was back when I was 19 years old. I'm in my late 30's, and have stuck to that vow. Since that relationship, I have had two others. One was with a man my same age, and the other was with a man two years older than me. Both, of course, went down in flames as well. My last real relationship ended nearly five years ago. Since he was two years older than me, I had to rethink the limits I set forth as far as dating went. I finally decided to give someone younger than me a try. I didn't go drastically lower in age, if I remember correctly, it was a five-year age difference. It was okay for the most part. But he too, turned out to be full of it, and forced me to reinstate my vow.

All this, still leaves me asking the question, does age matter? Most of my life, my answer to that question would be a definite yes. At this point, I'm now going back and forth on the subject. I'm thinking lately, it may be more about the type of person I'm choosing to get involved with, rather than the number of years they've been on this planet. Once I think I have a firm handle on the matter, I come across situations where, age proves to be a factor. Herein lies the problem :)

This is weighing heavily on me, as a result of my friendships with several people younger than me. I like to think I can get along and relate to most people I cross paths with. But how important is it to be surrounded by people of your age group? Outside of my age preference when it comes to dating, I'm a fairly inclusive person. I love meeting people from all walks of life. I enjoy the variety it brings. Lately, it feels like the age factor is hitting me over the head.

The handful of younger people in my circle of friends, seems to be bringing me back to when I was their age. I can truly relate to what they're experiencing, but am I thrilled to be reliving the trials and tribulations? Mostly I'm not. Does this mean I should be seeking out more people my age to connect with? It would be nice, to have people who get what I'm going through for a change. I'm usually the one sympathizing and offering words of encouragement for those traveling through the tumultuous 20's. What I would like, and probably need, is for there to be more people who can appreciate what it's like entering my 40's.

I'm not sure my younger friends understand how draining it is on my spirit to have to relive, through them, all the hardships I went through. I had a rough journey through my late 20's and into my 30's. To all those that know me, this is very common knowledge. As I empathize with their situations, I offer what made my experience better. No, it's not always right for everyone, but overall, can help. When it seems to be a complete miss, it makes me wonder, is it me who's lost patience or is age becoming a factor?

Center of The Universe Syndrome

I was talking to a friend today, about how you can go from being the best thing since slice bread, one day, to getting the kiss-off the next. As long as you play nice and "act right" you're sweet and a good lover or friend. The moment you cease to worship others, it's like all hell breaks loose. The tantrum throwing, complete with foot stomping ensues. It's just so unattractive. I have been told, if only I would "act right" then things would be different. What exactly does that mean? Does it involve ass kissing, being a doormat, or forever being the faithful friend, standing by to cater to whims of others? Perhaps, being a "yes person" is what it takes to stay in good graces with everyone. Never mind, the fact that you put up with all their highs and lows, at the expense of your own sanity. No appreciation, it's sad. Rarely, do you see anyone take responsibility for their shit. It's just easier to blame others than looking within yourself. I, on the other hand, have suffered the opposite for many years.I would always be hard on myself, wondering what I could have possibly done wrong in any given situation. I would beat myself up unnecessarily, putting my every little action under a microscope. I'd convince myself that everything was my fault. I'd take the brunt of venom filled reactions, and be okay with it. Well, after years of taking that on, I decided to say "screw it" Everything is not my fault! I refuse to take on what is not mine. If that makes me seem unsweet and unavailable, to attention- grabbing parasites, then so be it. Those people will have to realize, they are only the center of their universe.

Live, from New York, it´s Gabriella Sanchez

Since I've done everything there is to do, regarding my upcoming novel, I sit and wait. Then, wait some more. It's out of my hands, and into the printer's hands now. I'm so anxious and have so much nervous energy. So, in the meantime, I'll introduce a character from my book, Enchanted Island. The plot centers around four young people. Gabriella, Gilberto, Molly and Juan. Gabriella is the main focus of the story.

Introducing, Gabriella Maria Sanchez. Gabriella is what you would call a Nuyorican. It's a blend of New York and Puerto Rican. It's a term used to describe those with descendants from Puerto Rico, but born in New York. It just so happens to describe me as well. Gabby, as everyone calls her, shares some of my own traits. She's very shy and, awkward with few friends to call her own. We first meet Gabby when she's eleven years old, living in Manhattan with her mother. We learn that Gabby gets teased at school for being brainy. She spends most of her time alone, and escapes her reality, by reading anytime she can. Since Gabby doesn't come from a family with money, she pretty much sticks out like a sore thumb at her school, where most of the children come from the middle, to upper class. After a rocky start, Gabby eventually makes friends with the snobby Molly Sinclair. When the new student, Gilberto Padilla, joins the mix, the real story begins. Gabby and Gilberto become the best of friends right away. Gabby is beyond happy, to have someone who likes her unconditionally.

Gabby is very smart and wise beyond her years, an old soul if you will. I would describe her as, naive with a pure heart. She's strong without even realizing it. She easily forgives and, wants to believe the best in everyone. As I sit here and write about this fictional character, I'm reminded of just how much of me went into Gabby. Living with a single mother, very few friends, not to mention, she wears glasses that are way too big for her face. That pretty much describes my adolescence.

Sometime before entering High School, she transforms into a classic beauty. She maintains a natural look, while still managing to be breathtakingly beautiful. Again, I wouldn't dare to call myself breath-taking ;) but this also sums up what I went through. I got rid of my glasses at some point, as did Gabby. Continuing with her thirst for knowledge, she continued to enrich her life through academics. That's where Gabby and I part ways. I wasn't a horrible student, but didn't quite excel like Gabby. That aspect about Gabby is probably wishful thinking on my part :)

At a ripe old age of 15, Gabby finds herself in love. Also an experience I share with her. She grows to be an exceptional young lady. She has a close relationship with her mother, and dearly loves her friends. Gabby can get feisty at times, and does not like when someone stands in her way when she wants something. What was that you ask? Is that also a trait she and I share? Okay, I confess, yes it is. I have been described by a few, as feisty. I do not enjoy when someone or something is unnecessarily standing in the way of my getting what I want. I can get very stubborn and set in my ways, but hey, I'm a Taurus. I can easily see this stubborn streak in Gabby, in a few instances in the book.

Overall, Gabby accepts everything bestowed upon her with such grace. There are a few moments when she shows momentary weakness but, soon after, prevails in whatever obstacles come her way. Using her smarts she's able to think quickly on her feet. Being so well- rounded, Gabby is able to solve the mini- mysteries thrown at her throughout the journey in the story. There are many things in Gabby that I aspire to be, as I'm sure there's a vice versa in my sentiment ;)

For more information on where you can pick up Enchanted Island please visit:

Enchanted Island Blurb

With the release of my first novel just a few weeks away, I would like to begin sharing a little more about it. Here is the blurb that appears on the back cover.

Gabriella Sanchez is an awkward, adolescent girl simply trying to fit in. Forced in a solitary existence by her classmates’ unrelenting teasing, she attempts to change her lonely existence by befriending Molly Sinclair, the daughter of the wealthy couple her mother works for. Everything seems to be going well, until the day Molly decides she’s embarrassed to be friend with Gabriella. Gabriella’s luck changes when she meets Gilberto Padilla, who accepts her just as she is. The two become inseparable, bringing both their families together as one. Gabriella is so happy she even forgives Molly and revisits their friendship.

With school out for the summer the three friends make plans to vacation in Puerto Rico. Gabriella is overjoyed to be experiencing it for the first time with her best friends. The first signs of trouble show up when a battle begins between the two girls, over Gilberto. But, while in Puerto Rico, Gabriella and Molly meet Juan, a friend of the Padilla family. Molly instantly falls for him while he has his eye set on Gabriella. This infuriates Molly, who inadvertently causes a near fatal accident for her friend.

Eleven year old Gabriella then finds herself in the middle of an age old mystery after curious happenings begin to occur. After entrusting only her friends with the information, the four choose never to discuss it again, until Gabriella starts having cryptic dreams, years later. On a second trip to Puerto Rico, Gabriella now fifteen years old, is determined to uncover the clues in her dreams. She discovers that her dreams unlock mysteries of the ancient Taino tribe, in which she and her friends play an important role. Together they journey through time, to learn Gabriella’s fate, and a lesson of the inevitable law of Karma.

For more information please visit

Everything New

I'm so glad to see the sun shining today! This has been a bit of a rough winter here in NY, but we're surviving. I'm partial to the spring because, I was born in, well, May :D I love everything about spring. The fact that everything is starting anew, just invigorates the positive outlook set forth on January 1st. I love the idea of new life, after seemingly, hibernating the whole winter. With the release of my first book, coinciding with the upcoming season change, I can't help but be overjoyed at the symbolism. I feel as though my life is getting a make-over. After a rather dull run, my life is, um, showing signs of life :) I'm bursting with excitement, as corny as that sounds. Those that know me personally, know that patience is not my strong suit. The waiting game has me in such a tizzy. I'm excited, reflective, and surprisingly depressed, at times. I'm feeling just about every emotion all at once. And, I LOVE IT! I'm so glad I happen to be taking this ride with my friend, and fellow writer. She understands exactly what I'm going through, as she is experiencing the same thing. We spend the days, dreaming of what our new life will be like. I haven't mentioned this in my blog, but none of my family is aware of what is about to transpire. It's so hard keeping this surprise from my kids and my mother. I can't wait until I can put the book in their hands. I just have to wait about two more weeks. This is truly the best time in my life. Thank you, universe, for being so kind to me :)


I just want to start out by saying that, I do believe in some higher power. Something better and smarter than us. I can't say for sure what I think that power is. I'm not sure I believe in one supreme being responsible for creating the Earth, stars, sun, and the moon. I also wouldn't say that it's impossible or even wrong to believe it could be true. Why is it that some people claim their belief is the right one? What proof do they have? Who's right? Who's wrong? I just simply say we're all right and wrong. Why must we fight over it? What right does one group have to tell others they are wrong. It really fires me up when a group of people take a book written by man, and use it to scold people. It also pisses me off when they take that same book and twist it to suit their needs. Take certain passages literally, yet ignore others altogether. I'm so tired of people claiming this moral high ground then turn around and shit on people. Who's to say what is right and what is wrong? Stop preaching at people and just live a good life. Why are so many people concerned with what others do in the privacy of their own bedrooms? If others' actions are not harming anyone, why go after them in the name of God and religion? The reason I'm blogging about this is because I came across this note from one of my Facebook "friends." It was a woman, preaching about how we should stop tolerating homosexual behavior. What if a homosexual person lived a righteous life, treated everyone with love and care and was an upstanding citizen? Let's say this person was the perfect human being that just so happens to love the same sex. Now take a heterosexual person that hurts people physically, emotionally and spiritually, commits crimes, and is just taking up space in society. Are you telling me that this person has more of a right to get into heaven than the homosexual leading a productive life? And furthermore, if this poor excuse of a human being(the heterosexual) accepts jesus and repents, then he's forgiven and accepted into heaven. The homosexual that has done nothing but good all his life, doesn't get into heaven? Oh unless he admits that loving the same-sex is something he should, repent and be forgiven for? Is that the only way he'll be deemed "good"? That makes no type of sense to me what so ever. Perhaps I'm going to hell for that. Is it just me, or is it silly that humans feel they are the ones that should be judge and jury?


Back when I was young and in love, I never imagined that my high school sweetheart of five years, would turn out to be such a jerk. I don't think he's a jerk merely because he cheated on me and broke my heart. He's a jerk, because he fathered a child with me and, is basically non-existant in the child's life. I feel bad for speaking about him in this way, because he is my son's father. I never speak like this in front of my son, and I know there's a chance my son could very well read this one day. I do apologize in advance, should you ever read this J. Anyhow, my first love, of course, made a huge impression on me. After the relationship was over, I was devastated and left to carry on, while he went off happily ever after with the new girl. The following is a poem I wrote after months of dealing with the break-up.


Callously, you reduced me to tears
Making me face unfathomable fears

Forcing me then, to carry on
Wondering what, became of our bond

Thinking all along, that we were perfectly secure
It’s then, that you departed, leaving sorrow for me to endure

So, you went on living, without a backwards glance
Causing me to remain, in a steady somber trance

Then, one day I woke up, suddenly feeling new
Free of all the melancholy, that was caused by you

Relieved to be unburdened, of all that extra weight
Now, looking back on everything, I see you weren’t so great!

Just a Phase_

I'm wondering if I'm in a funk, just going through a phase, or simply just changing. I've noticed a difference in my temperament the last couple of weeks. It's alarming, yet I feel so liberated. I've gotten to a place where I really have a low tolerance for bullshit. I've left friends behind, on account of not wanting to deal with their issues. Is that a mark of a bad friend or am I finally putting myself first? I'm tired of the so-called friends calling me up when they're in need of something. I'm tired of the lies and lack of loyalty in the people I've chosen to call friend. I feel like I'm finally taking responsibility for my choices, by weeding out the dead weight, so to speak. With me being the ultimate people pleaser for so long, I finally either woke up or just simply have had enough! Always having an encouraging word for everyone else, regarding others' feelings, being polite, and being the ever faithful friend. All great qualities. So why do I feel like I'm the idiot? I suppose it's because I've chosen people who do not readily reciprocate these things. Should I be upset about not getting back what I put out? The nice and polite answer would be, not to be upset and doing things for others just for the sake of being nice is rewarding enough. I understand and agree with that. However, there is a but :) But isn't it nice every once in a while to be the recipient of all the nice things you offer to others. At what point do you become a doormat? Do you keep going out of your way to make others feel great about themselves, and never want reciprocity? Getting rid of toxic people who lack respect for friendship should be a good thing. What I'm conflicted about is, choosing to be less available to needy friends. I'm wondering if I'm being a "bad" friend by not allowing them to purge themselves, which in turn leaves me drained and depressed. I don't think it would bother me so much if they let everything out, then followed with some sort of positive resolution and getting pro-active in a solution to their woes. It's very important to me because it is what I'm doing for myself. Right now, I feel like, if someone is not going to be a part of my forward movement, then I don't need them around to rain on my parade. Does that sound harsh? At times it does, but this is a crucial time for me, don't I have the right? I'm hoping to come to terms with this issue, it's been on my mind lately. I want to continue with the positive outlook I started the new year with, because I have so many wonderful things to look forward to. May the gods keep me in their favor :)

The ¨Me¨ Generation

I've been feeling really disheartened by the qualities I see in a lot of the younger folks. I'm still a baby in the grand scheme of things but, even a gap of 10 years in age or less, is making me feel so much older. I'm so fed up with the self-centered mongrels floating around me. It's like they come along and zap the energy of those in their path. I came across these articles that best represent what I'm talking about.


I feel compelled to talk about a friend of mine. Yes, I'm going to talk about her behind her back. Shame on me? I think not.

One day when I was feeling really low, I decided to search the world wide web for a source of support. I was confused. I was reeling from a terrible heartbreak and, questioning so many things. My sexuality included. I happened upon a site, a support forum. I felt comfortable there, and even entered the chat room. I was so surprised at how welcomed everyone made me feel. This particular site, only had open chat one day a week for people that had not met the forum's minimum post requirement. So, I had to wait another week to enter the chat room again. In the meantime, I posted in the forum. Before I knew it I had enough posts to enter the chat room on any day I wished. Well, that was the beginning of something very good for me. I started to feel better after sharing my story with the women. I had plenty of laughs in the chat room and found myself returning often throughout my day. It probably wasn't even a month, before I started getting familiar with the regulars. These were real women, with real issues. We shared, we encouraged, we laughed. It was just what I needed at that particular time. In my visits to the site and the chat room, there were those that I just really connected to. Through the internet? Yes. There's no explaining how it happens, but it just does. You connect with someone. It doesn't have to be on a romantic soul mate level. You can have platonic soul mates, I believe. It seems like some cosmic force is putting you on the same path. On that site, I found one person in particular, that I could relate to. As luck would have it, she could relate to me as well. I found a handful of people that I could actually relate to as a matter of fact. But I must say, none of them had the staying power. It's been almost two years, since I stumbled upon the site. That one original "regular" from the chat room, has stood the test of time. We took our online friendship offline and haven't looked back. We still connect on many levels, often realizing that we share a lot of the same experiences when it comes to our fellow man. We are different in many ways as well, which always keeps things interesting. I can count on her to understand when I suffer disappointments because, she, too, suffers them. I completely believe that, something higher and smarter than us, wanted us to cross paths. We've come together in a nice partnership to achieve great things. This connection was meant to take place. I can't wait to see where it takes me. I'm glad to call her friend, and even happier in believing it will be a long-lasting friendship. Something I have not had thus far.

So, yes, sorry to talk about my friend behind her back. I hope she won't mind.

Crowded Shoulder

I feel like my positive energy is being sucked dry by the negative energy of the people surrounding me. I look around and it seems like everybody is stuck in misery. What's even worse, I'm really starting to believe some folks thrive in it. I have a feeling that these people can only function properly when they're drowning in a sea of drama. The endless, I can'ts or I'm trying to's , I'm lost, I'm lonely, I broke, I'm tortured, I hate where I live, I don't want to even live on this planet,I hate my life, my life is like a song, my girlfriend sucks,my girlfriend doesn't suck,I hate my job, my boyfriend doesn't care, my boyfriend is annoying,I'm in a dark place,nobody understands me, you're the best, you're the worst, and the list could go on forever. I try to be a source of positivity for these people and they turn around and ignore me, in favor of someone who wants to commiserate in their torturous existence. It's like they only want to associate with people who will coddle and enable negative thoughts and behavior.

I do admit to loving social networking sites like Facebook, but I'm beginning to see how these misery lovers are getting their validation through replies on their status updates. It's opened the door to a global gathering of whiners looking for sympathy. I realize that, some may think I'm just as guilty by writing this blog. There's a few reasons why I blog. For one, I come here to let off steam and blog about things going on in my life, for those who would like to get to know me, the writer. I try to keep it positive in most cases. It helps to get my thoughts and feelings out, perhaps giving me inspiration for a story. At least here, if someone wants to read it, they can, it's not like I'm going out of my way to say hey "look at me, I need attention." No one is receiving a status update about my blog unless they've signed up to follow it. I haven't forgotten that, I did make a choice to add people to my Facebook page. However, I just don't subscribe to remaining in constant agony and making sure everyone knows it.

So, there may very well be, nobody reading this and that's ok. I'm getting ready to be in the public eye, with the release of my first book. I figure sometimes people want to know a little about an author of a book they've enjoyed. Lastly, I blog in the hopes of networking and getting some form of promotion for my work. I like to believe, I blog in a way that even if there's something negative in my life, I can still see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It's not the case with the people surrounding me. It's really getting to me, how people are just so self-centered. I don't know if Tweeting and Facebook status updating, are the cause for all the "Look at me" people running rampant. I for one, am sick and tired of people, whether through Facebook or instant messaging, bombarding me with their troubles. They get sound advice , then ask me how I'm doing, as an afterthought. Sometimes I feel like people ask me how I'm doing just to get it out of the way, so they can continue with talking about themselves, with a clear conscious. I've been in conversations where, I announce something important going on in my life, and it gets passed over. I've also had people pop up on my instant messenger program, solely to rant to me about an issue,and log off as soon as I've helped them to feel better. I'm slowly losing patience and, as a result, will probably end up being less available. That's not exactly who I am, so I'm hoping that this phase won't last too long.

My First Review

A few weeks ago my book was given to a select few readers for review. They were chosen based on their activity on my social networking pages. I'm excited to report that my first review is in, and it's POSITIVE! A woman from Raleigh, NC said the following:

I was given the privilege of reading Enchanted Island as part of an invite-only preview event.

Early in Enchanted Island, we see the world through the eyes of a young,inner-city girl, of Puerto Rican descent. No matter what the reader’s background, however, many will find themselves able to relate to young Gabriella’s life; the wanting of more than she has, and the social awkwardness that comes, not only from her lack of money, but from just being young. More than that, readers can relate to her sense that she is destined for more than life as it is.

Her grateful attitude to any kindness makes her a fierce friend, and she soon becomes acquainted with two children in her school– Gilberto, a young man of similar background, and Molly, a member of the elite class. Together, the threesome navigates their way through school life, and embark on a journey to Gabby’s ancestral home in Puerto Rico.

While there, they meet a fourth, Juan, to complete their group. Following an accident, Ms. Torres takes us on a supernatural journey, in which the four youngsters understand their purpose in each others lives, and fight to right the wrongs of the past, not only for their sakes, but for the world at large.

May Torres brings a supernatural adventure to live, in a concise and clear-cut way. Her informal writing style is very direct, and unpretentious, letting the reader know exactly where they stand at all time, a wise choice, given her intended reader.

She uses words her readers can, not only understand, but likely use in their everyday life. Teens and adults alike will enjoy the quest through time and history, exploring past lives and the philosophy of karma.

My favorite aspect of the book, however, has to be the character development. The reader feels as though they know the characters, and understand their motivation. That makes it easy for every reader to picture themselves in the given situations, and have a real connection with the book. It was a pleasure to
read this, and I look forward to more supernatural trips with Ms. Torres.

I'm very humbled by this woman's words. It makes the long hours spent writing this story worth it. One review down, and many more to come, I hope. I'm very happy today, thank gods :)

To Defer or Not to Defer, That is The Question

I don't know what my problem is. Or if it's even a problem. I just can't stand when my mother defers decisions to her husband. Like she can't make a decision for herself. It could be a mundane task, yet she'll ask him if she should do it, how she should do it etc. My mom is a very strong-willed woman, so I can't understand the contradiction. I'm wondering if it's an old fashion thing. Anytime there's a situation that needs rectifying, she'll automatically think that her husband, the man, should go and fix it. If I share a problem with her she'll suggest her husband's assistance or complete handling of the situation. Does she feel a woman can't solve problems? Little things like asking her what type of calling plan she has on her cell phone, gets the answer, "Oh I don't know, my husband handles that" She has no idea about the bills or any official business regarding her life. So, am I missing something? I handle all of my business, granted I'm single and have never lived with anyone. So of course I handle the business. My thing is, I'd be involved in every aspect of my life even if I shared it with someone. I can't imagine not being involved in what goes on in my home. I shovel my snow, I mow my lawn and I drive anywhere I need to go, no matter how far it may be. All of the aforementioned, my mother will find too difficult and suggest I ask her 60 something- year- old husband for help with. I wonder what it is,that is ok for me to do? I get a speeding ticket and have to appear in court, she wants to send her husband to go talk to the judge. Problems at my kids' school, my son's difficult basketball coach, all things for her husband to take care of , if I left it to her. What exactly should I be doing as a mother? Cooking and cleaning? Once again, my mother is the type that wears the pants, so why the hell does she have to defer to her husband? I understand sharing decision-making with your spouse, and yes you should let your spouse in on stuff. But not being able to handle business? I don't know. I tell myself, this is why I'm not married, because I obviously don't understand the concept of marriage. Quite frankly, if that's what marriage is about, then I don't want it. This has been on my mind lately, because I have this old grade school friend, that's really into his Bible. He really feels that a woman should submit to her husband. She should cook 7 course meals,7 days a week. He thinks that it's basically wrong for a woman to want a career or want a 50-50 relationship. I just don't subscribe to that. I wonder if that's the reason I'm not married lol. I would clash with a man like that. I have no problem taking care of my partner. There's just no way I'm submitting to him, I'm all for an equal partnership. Who knows, maybe I need to submit. Nah, it's not going to happen lol. I just need to find someone like-minded and I'll be fine. Right?

The Story Behind The Story

My first novel was basically written with my teenage daughter in mind. Over the past year or so she picked up on her reading. Before she would basically read what she needed to satisfy school requirements. After I read the Twilight saga I enjoyed it so much, I gave her the books. She read the books with such enthusiasm and was pretty much done in record time. From then, she was never without a book to read. I was at a place where I needed to do something to change my life financially. The business that I run was not allowing me to be financially secure and I was in a bit of hot water. The economy being what it is, did not help. It caused me to lose some clients. I was trying to come up with ways to make some extra cash, so I picked up on my writing. I had started a story some years ago but never followed through. The time was crucial so I continued with the story not having any real idea where it was heading. In my mind, I thought maybe I could submit this short story and earn a little money from it. I read so many articles on things you can do to bring in extra cash. The most important point was, to use your talent or hobby to bring in income. I'm not a good artist, singer, or talented dancer to teach lessons on such things, so I was at a loss. I read the stories of J.K Rowlings and Stephenie Meyer and they basically turned their writing into mega million dollar successes. With my daughter truly loving the books she was reading, I thought maybe I could do what these other authors did, and create something my daughter and girls her age might enjoy. So I picked up the story I was writing, and ran with it. I wanted it to be something different. I didn't see too much of the hispanic/Latino community represented, so I knew right away that my story would have a Latino female as the protagonist. I wanted her to be seen in a positive and strong light. I wanted her to be a hero, so girls could believe in themselves and relate. The stories where the boy saves the day are nice, but what girl wouldn't want to be a hero too? So I began writing everyday, still not knowing where the story would lead. I'm a big fan of horror and the supernatural, so I knew I would throw in some of those elements. The story was taking on a more of the supernatural and not horror. My story did not involve wizards or vampires, just an ordinary girl who finds out she's anything but ordinary. It was also important for me to show people something different, offering a glimpse of a culture rarely represented. I had to write what I knew, so I chose to highlight my Puerto Rican heritage. I feel like I gave people a lesson on the history of the Puerto Rican people while being entertaining. My hope is that it teaches the reader things they might have not known. For those that are familiar with the history and way of life, I thought it might please them, to finally see it being represented. I was hoping to offer young latino girls and boys the chance to identify with the characters and connect with them. I do also hope that I inspire more stories like mine in the future. I would love for there to be more Latino/Hispanic authors coming forward and into the mainstream. Of course, I'm hoping for big success, but if it doesn't take off, I'll still be happy that I set out to do something and DID IT. I want to show my daughter that you can do whatever you put your mind to. It could all be done, and in a positive light. So here's to my story about a little Puerto Rican girl who could!

Dealing With The Loss of a Friendship

Right before the new year a friendship of 10 years was ended. I have to mention that the friendship was with an ex boyfriend of five years. We dated for five years and broke up when I discovered he was cheating on me. We were in the process of buying a home and two weeks away from closing. Our relationship ended because he chose to stay with the other woman. That relationship failed not too soon after. I ended up speaking with him again when his mother passed away right after we broke up. We maintained a friendship and I made a cruicial error in continuing an intimate relationship with him. We got close again and yes my feelings for him lingered. We kept up this kind of relationship for another five years. We both dated other people all while still spending time together. It got to a point where he actually said he'd like to give us another try. Well he said it and that's all he did. In the meantime he started seeing another woman which eventually would become his girlfriend. All while telling me it was nothing. I had some type of a credit or voucher to take a trip and invited him to come along. I was stupid in putting the money up front which he was to pay me back for. I booked the trip and wouldn't you know it, he had to back out when the woman he denied was his girlfriend found out. She found out through snooping . This took place because he got himself into a bit of trouble and she was watching his children at his apartment that day while he sorted out his mess. Needless to say, I stopped speaking to him after I lost my money on the trip from cancelling. And did I mention that this was for my birthday/mother's day? So anyway he must have gotten sick of his girlfriend and started to reach out to me again. Yeah me being the same fool accepted him back into my life. It wasn't in the same fashion still nevertheless invited him back into my life and my bed of course. I know it was because I never stopped having feelings for him no matter how much I told myself that I didn't. I'm soft and I know it.I'm very loving and forgiving and he preyed on that. Well we were getting along so well and I knew not to expect anything from him. But I'm sure deep down I felt that maybe we could find a way back. He'd broken up with the last girl but she was still lingering as well. I told him I didn't care because we were just seeing each other and we had no committment which I liked because I was free to meet other people. Even with me telling him that he didn't have to pretend or lie to me about seeing the ex girlfriend or anyone for that matter, he chose to be deceitful. I don't know why because he was single and so was I, and we didn't have an exclusive deal. It got to the point where he was telling me that the ex girlfriend was crazy and she didn't want to let go, yet there were pictures of him and her with their families celebrating and looking very much like a couple surfacing on his facebook page. Again I told him he didn't need to lie about it we're all adults and I can deal with him dating other people, I wouldn't necessarily be jumping for joy but wouldn't be angry. So yes, even with it being said for the hundreth time, he insisted on telling lies. So I got fed up after one conversation where he made it seem like I was crazy and even spoke out of line to me. I hung up the phone on him and we haven't spoken since. I wrote him a short email stating that I was saddened by the dynamic of our friendship and that we had a friendship where he could be honest, wished him well and that was it. If I'm being honest, I do miss the friendship part of our relationship. I opend up to him more than anyone before. Since then I keep myself guarded in some aspects. It eats away at me to see that he's gone on to enjoy himself and even has the ex girlfriend in his life. I feel like he chose a newcomer over me whom he had a relationship with and an even longer friendship. It hurts and I know that I deserve better but sometimes it gets to me. I'm a sensitive person so I take things so much more to heart. Right now I just want to be free of any lingering feelings I have for him. I'm just glad that I'm able to vent it here. Some times are just harder than others. I'm mostly okay with things but those moments come when the pain is just there again, like it never went away. I pray that one day soon I wont have to feel this way anymore. Help me universe.

Excerpt from Enchanted Island

Excerpt from my upcoming novel Enchanted Island
When Gabby got home Rosa and Manuel were sitting in the living room watching a movie. She wanted to give the couple their space so she headed to her room for a while. On New Year’s Eve the four friends took a picture just after midnight. Gilberto printed a copy for everyone to remember the occasion. Gabby thought the best spot for the photo was right above her bed. She couldn’t wait until she found the perfect frame so she decided to secure it with thumb tacks for the time being.Gabby gathered four tacks for each corner of the photo. She positioned it exactly where she wanted it and reached for the first tack. The photo slipped from between her finger and the wall, falling behind the headboard of her bed. Gabby let out a sigh of frustration knowing that it would be a tedious task retrieving the photo.

The solid wood bed was much too heavy to try to maneuver on her own. The best course of action would be to move the end table instead. Gabby slid the table a few inches so she could get in closer and grab the photo. As Gabby reached for the photo something strange caught her eye.

On the backside of the headboard was a strange engraving. She ran her fingers across the new discovery, and instantly received a massive electrical charge through her hand and up her arm. The sensation caught her off guard sending her tumbling back and hitting her head on the end table. She sat momentarily in a fog before the visions started.

She woke up to find that she was no longer in her bedroom. Gabby was being pushed into a dark cave by the Indian man. Again he spoke a language so beautiful, but was neither Spanish nor English yet she understood it perfectly. He urged her to stay vigilant while remaining in the cave away from the danger looming outside. Before running off the Indian man handed Gabby a mid sized medicine bag containing a heavy object.

Gabby was bewildered and frightened after the hasty exit of the Indian. She sorely lacked knowledge of what she was hiding from, or why she was now in possession of the medicine bag and its contents. Taking advantage of the light she removed the item from the bag. She held in her hand a tablet of some sort.

Gabby didn’t quite comprehend the carvings etched in the stone; they all just seemed like a random group of pictures. The images began to fade as it appeared that the cave was spinning slowly until it took on a new form. Gabby was now in a caney, a rectangular hut in the center of a village. Taking a closer look, Gabby saw that she was sitting among the small group of hunching people. She closed her eyes and instantaneously took on the experience.

One woman nearly a hundred years old sat off by herself with eyes closed. She mumbled the same words over and over. Gabby hesitated to get in closer but the woman spoke her name. The name she spoke was not Gabby or even Gabriella, but somehow she knew the woman was addressing her. Gabby hesitantly walked over to the old woman stopping just inches of where she was seated. In the blink of an eye the woman reached out and grabbed Gabby by the forearm with cat like reflexes. For an old woman her grip was firm and unwavering Gabby thought. The old woman spoke once more.
“Bring it back,” she urged. “You must return.”