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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Please Don't Tell Anyone

There's Halloween, then there's New Year's Eve. Two of my favorite times of year. I remember at my family celebrations my mother would always cry when the new year arrived. Without fail, the tears would flow at the stroke of midnight. My mother always hosted the New Year's Eve celebration. The family would come over, and boy, we're a big one! We'd eat, the adults would drink, and we were all merry. Once it was 12 O'Clock we'd all have to make our rounds and be sure to kiss everyone. Such fond memories.

As a lot of families do, we expanded and spread out across New York. Our celebrations fizzled out and everyone went on with their lives. It makes me sad but my love of the holiday remains. As I grew older and had kids of my own I realized why my mother would cry. Something about saying goodbye to a year and welcoming a new one, is bittersweet. You might have lost a loved one, yet another one might have been born. Your life seems to be speeding ahead but you might feel like you're standing still. There are things you would have liked to accomplish and didn't, or perhaps there's things you carried out with ease. In that one minute where you leave a year behind to begin anew, a hodgepodge of emotions swirl about.

During the holidays, in general, people examine their lives. Love pops up instantaneously in the equation. Lost love, current love, future love, any form. Romantic, friendly, and the love for your family. As much as I have resisted the notion of falling in love again, I have to say that each passing year is bringing me closer to...*gulp* taking the plunge. After my last relationship ended I sort of gave up on the idea. I'm embarrassed to say it's been about 5 or 6 years.

The one thing that prompted this post was the fact that I went to see the movie New Year's Eve. It was such a lovely movie and it inspired me. It reminded me about that magical time in your life when you're in love. I know it's fiction and fairy tale endings but it left an impression on me. It renewed my faith in love. And for the first time in years I feel like I'd be ready to function in a loving, healthy relationship. For a long time I was so content on just enjoying my own company. It'll be hard to now share my precious time, if and when I decide to enter a relationship, but I won't feel bad for wanting or needing my own space. I have confidence that the lucky person who enters my life would understand.

Now that you've read this post, I'm going to have to swear you all to secrecy, because my friends are not going to recognize the person who wrote this :D

So, please, don't tell anyone.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Pet Peeves

So, lately I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. I know all about that positive reinforcement stuff and the power of the law of attraction. I know that my thoughts become actions, and what ever I put out into the universe I’m going to get back. Yes, yes, I totally understand that. But yes I’m here to admit I’m not 100% good at implementing it 100% of the time. Hey, I’m human. I go through periods where I just can’t take anymore of people’s shit. It gets to the point, that once a person gets on my nerves they are on my shit list for every little thing they do. Eventually they come off of my list but it takes a while. Have you ever gotten to the point where almost everyone and everything gets on your very last nerve? You can be the most kind, understanding, and compassionate person overall (Like myself :) ) but when the dark cloud appears, there’s no escape. You just have to ride it out until it rolls out of town. That dark cloud has been insisting on settling over my head. I’ve tried to fight it but it’s so damn persistent. Presently, I have people and situations that are annoying the hell out of me. And stupid me is allowing it. Go figure. So what better time to ask, what are your pet peeves?

Mine are:

  • People talking during a movie (I can almost bring myself to commit assault with a deadly weapon over that shit!)
  • Copycats, biters, idea stealers (You get the point)
  • Tapping
  • Nosy bodies (Mind your damn business)
  • People who butt into a convo when nobody asked their opinion.
  • Chameleons (No, not the animal. People who exhibit their behavior)
  • Bandwagoners (Ugh get off! And no, not in that yummy good way)
  • Parents afraid to…well…Parent!! (Grow some balls dammit!)
  • Me, Me, Me (What can you do for me? Look at me! Let’s talk about me! STFU already)
  • People who work out on the equipment at the gym and don’t wipe it down!
  • That person who has the need to control everything and everyone!
  • Fake people (Just cut the shit okay?)
  • Cocky people (Ugh no! There are always better, cuter, nicer, sweeter, prettier, people out there)
If I don’t stop there, I’ll be here all day :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I Want You To Know-- Vol. 2

Of everything I've written about on my blog, the most popular post is one about Alanis Morissette. I can't really blame anyone, she's amazing! I get a steady stream of hits each day on that post. So...I ask myself, should I write more about this wonderful artist? Then I think, this is not a blog specifically about Morissette. This is a blog about little old me. My random thoughts and a little about my writing. Some months ago I wrote a post titled "I Want You To Know" just so my readers could get to know me better. I will continue where that post left off. Hope you enjoy getting to know me a little better :D

I want you to know:

  • I have fallen back in love with the WWE
  • I am a huge Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson fan (Who doesn't love him? :) )
  • I saw Avatar 4 times in the movie theater and about 15 times more at home
  • I love Halloween (I love dressing up as something spooky)
  • I hate to be tickled(Especially my feet)
  • I'm becoming even more of a recluse in my "old age"
  • I can't stand some of my family members :(
  • I don't like bullshitters. Just stop! Ugh
  • I like body art. ( I have 5 tattoos and want more)
  • I have girl crushes
  • I believe in karma and past lives (hey don't judge me)
  • I love horror movies
  • I can't swim in deep water
  • I'm afraid of heights
  • I'm not a crybaby but I will cry easily when I'm extremely happy or a sad movie (Damn you, Gladiator!)
  • I'm fluffy
  • I finally learned how to ride a bike in my 30's
  • I also got my driver license in my 30's (failed the road test 3 times)
  • I'm a city girl now living in the country. (Ask me how that's going for me)
  • I have a problem walking over manholes and subway gratings on the sidewalk
  • I DO NOT do roller coasters(I'm a chicken shit)

Friday, July 29, 2011

Good Times, Man...Good Times...

I've been extremely distracted and preoccupied with a trip that I'm taking in the Spring of 2012. My writing has seemingly come to a halt as I'm consumed by this said trip. I have a hard time focusing because I'm suffering from a "one track mind." I drive my family and friends crazy, I'm sure, and am pretty much the brunt of jokes. With all this being said, ask me if I care. NO! I don't :D

That's right! I don't care because I'm going to WrestleMania XXVIII! No, your eyes have not deceived you. I said I'm going to the WWE's event of the year. The SuperBowl of sports entertainment. Not only am I going, but I'm going VIP style all the way! I joke that I sold my firstborn just to be able to purchase the tickets. It's not far from the truth, I tell ya. :)

Okay, well maybe I didn't almost sell my firstborn son for the tickets, but they sure were the biggest purchase I ever made for myself to date. Definitely the most elaborate trip I've ever planned. I'm wondering, if you're wondering, if I'm partaking in this insanity by myself. And if you weren't wondering, I'm going to clue you in anyway :)

First thing, the event is taking place in Miami, Florida. I live in New York so yes, I am hopping on a plane just to attend. (btw many people travel from other countries to this event) As for me embarking on this trip on my own. Negative. I have two co-conspirators just waiting to make this journey epic! My writing partner and dear friend R.C. Berry and the lovely Ms Ang. We are beyond thrilled to be taking this trip together.

With the VIP travel packages we bought, there are so many things to get into leading up to the main event. Including the opportunity to get autographs and take pictures with our favorite WWE stars. We each have one that strikes our fancy. I have pledged my undying love to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. R.C. Berry has a real thing for Randy "The Viper" Orton. Ms Ang just loves her some John Cena. We all love each of the aforementioned so this trip is going to be such a treat!

Now that you have a little background I want to share something with you. Seconds after our purchase of WrestleMania XXVIII tickets, we celebrated. I guess I should tell you that I live in New York and that my friends live in North Carolina. We designated one person, R.C. Berry, the person to handle the actual transaction. So we skyped the whole experience. Now getting back to what I wanted to share with you.

The celebration that I mentioned, was caught on camera. Yes, there is proof. The three of us ladies got bit with the "I don't give a sh!t" bug. I was at work looking like a hot mess (hey I work with small children), while Ms. Ang had gotten into some of R.C. Berry's costumes. She was wearing quite the ensemble. You'll see how they included me in the festivities via the Ipad. Good times, man...good times...

Dreams That You Dare to Dream Really Do Come True

With my first novel, Enchanted Island, I dedicated it to my children. I simply said " Dream Big." Up until I completed and published Enchanted Island I had not lived up to that statement. I suppose you can say I was brought up to just do the minimum to get by in life. I was encouraged to get a city job with good benefits and sit at a desk for the rest of my life. While that is fine and dandy for most people, it just wasn't for me. There really isn't anything wrong with finding a job, getting married and having 2.3 kids and a dog. It's your everyday American Dream.

From a young age I knew that that kind of life was not for me. I'm more inclined to do something that has me running around and on my feet all day. I've worked at desk jobs and was terribly miserable. I'm more of a hands on person. I like to be up and about helping people or doing something with my hands. ( Hey behave yourselves ;) ) Unfortunately I was wired to want to do so many different things at once, and that doesn't really fit into being productive in our society. You know the saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none." I believe that the saying has negative connotations. I could be wrong there, who knows?

I just like to do so many different things that I can't settle on just one. Our society is just not set up to support this type of personality. You go through your school years and when you get to High School and College you have to declare majors. You're expected to pick that one subject, study it and then find a career to support yourself in that field. Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's just that some people (me) don't fit in that particular box.

First of all, if you study so many different subjects you're going to go broke doing so. Secondly, if you're lucky enough to afford schooling for every subject matter you're interested in, try changing jobs in all of the fields that strike your fancy. No one will want to hire you because you've bounced around so much. I know employers want to know that they are hiring a person who will stick with them, I'm just saying! Just because a person has many different interests and would love to pursue most or all of them doesn't necessarily mean the person is flighty or a flake.

So someone like me is forced to go into business for themselves. I took what I was passionate about, kids, and I made it work for me. So now I have a day care in my home. I find myself now wishing to follow other dreams. I'm left feeling like, maybe there's something wrong with me. I look around and people have chosen careers and work at it until retirement. Why am I not happy doing that? Why do I bore of something and want to move onto something else? Society tells me that there may just be something wrong with me. I never really did feel like I fit in. Am I one of those "creative types?" You know, the type person people make fun of.

All I know, is that the older I get, the more important it is for me to live out my dreams. I always loved writing so, with my friend R.C. Berry, we wrote books and published them. That was a huge thing for me. Now I'm onto fulfilling something just for the fun of it. I've taken on trying to meet my favorite male entertainer! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! I think I love :D You can follow along on my journey to make that dream a reality here on my Journey to Wrestlemania blog. Find out what I'm up to these days with my gal pals R.C. Berry and Ms Ang. I'm learning to live my life, with the knowledge that, the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.


Monday, July 11, 2011

I Wish It Wasn't So Easy For Me to Lose It

It has been nearly two months since I last blogged. I don’t really have a good reason for staying away so long. I just sort of took a break from everything and did absolutely nothing. I think maybe it’s a case of burn out. Everything became too much. I have this blog, multiple social networking pages, and am attempting to write a second novel. Add a hectic everyday life and there you have it, burn out. My mind is nothing but mush. I’ve also embarked on a very unsuccessful weight loss journey. I have been working my ass off with no results. So I’m frustrated, at the moment, to say the least. I also started a new blog to chronicle my journey to Wrestlemania, the Superbowl of World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s a gift to myself for making it to my 40th birthday next year.

I feel like I’m busy, busy, busy, but getting nowhere. I feel like I’m in a rut. Not much is going on with my book and writing in general. Very few seem to be interested and it feels like all my hard-work was for nothing. Yeah, I feel that I accomplished something, so that’s a tiny success in itself. I suppose I should look at the glass as half full. It’s been a little hard as of late.

I watch people who are decent struggle to make good things happen for themselves. While I see those who treat people like shit, get ahead in life. New houses, new cars, new lovers etc. It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me right now. So many of my friends are struggling and out of work, while some others just sit on their asses living off the backs of their fellow humans. Why is this okay? Liars, cheats and low-down dirty people making it big. There must be something I’m missing. Sure the grass is not always greener, but damn it sure feels like it. I still question when my grass is going to be greener. I, by no means, am at rock-bottom, but I sure would like to be in a better place. Better than those who go after things in an under-handed way. That’s all.

So here I am, once again, trying to find that positive spirit. I wish it wasn’t so easy for me to lose it.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Dreaming Big This Year

Okay, so I had a dream about writing. I set out and I wrote. I published. I will repeat. The process taught me a lesson. It taught me to dream big! In fact, in my book dedication, I told my children just that. Now I will not settle for what ifs, I am going for it. Whatever I desire, I am going to do it big.

Now you may find this funny but, I love World Wrestling Entertainment. Okay, I admit I love to watch those buffed up men throw each other around. My favorite is The Rock. He recently came back to the WWE and so did I. I watched Wrestlemania last month with my friend and fellow writer R.C. Berry. We saw that next year it would be in Miami. So we've decided to go. We are going all out and purchasing the best tickets available. Therefore, I need to sell more books! :-D I need to make this dream come true. Dreams haven't been so kind to me the last few years so I'm due.

I joke to my friends every time my birthday comes along. I tell them I want The Rock. My birthday was just this week and it sucks that I haven't gotten him after all these years. Well next year that's it. I will have him. It will be my 40th birthday and it's time for celebration. The Rock will be having a much anticipated match and I will be there to watch in person. Because baby, I'm dreaming big this year!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Puff, puff, give.

Marijuana Vs. Alcohol

So… now that the April 20 hooplah is over, I’d like to offer my two cents. Okay, you got me, this is going to be a rant. Maybe not so much a rant, but a begging to be enlightened. I’m having a very difficult time understanding how people who love to celebrate every holiday, special occasion, milestone, and everything in between, with a drink, can sit on their moral high-horse about weed smokers. Is it because marijuana is illegal? Is that why the taboo is there? Let’s pretend for a moment that it suddenly became legal to smoke pot. Will the stigma then be removed? Somehow I have my doubts.

While I’m not necessarily advocating weed or alcohol, I don’t object to an occasional drink or bong hit. I personally feel how one of my favorite movie characters, Dr. Evil describes his son, Scott ” Well it’s true! It’s true! You’re semi-evil. You’re quasi-evil. You’re the margarine of evil. You’re the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough” In regards to Marijuana, of course. Out of all the drugs to be illegal and have a stigma attached to it, weed is, to me, the Diet Coke of them all. Yet, I saw numerous people judging the “stoners” for celebrating 420. “Why do they need a day to celebrate smoking Marijuana, that’s so stupid?” We have days to celebrate all kinds of things. Many people abstain from celebrating such days like Valentine’s day. We should celebrate love all year and not on that one specific day, they say. It’s their choice not to join in on the festivities. Just the same as 420. If you’re not a pot smoker, great. But leave the people to have their one day. I’m sure those who complain, celebrate in something or another, that others see no point in. Just shut up and carry on about your day. Always something to say and judge others about. Sheesh it annoys me. (Ha! maybe I’m judging too ;-) )

I could see if celebrating 420 was an imminent threat to society. Chances of problems or dangers occurring on that day, from excessive weed smoking are slim. Compare a group of people who celebrated with too much weed to people who indulged in too much alcohol. See what you get. With one group you’ll just be in danger of your pantry being raided. A host of other problems with the other. A majority of people will think nothing of the countless people at bars and clubs, whose goal is to get wasted and possibly have mindless sex with some random person. That’s what some might call a good night.

Alcohol seems to be synonymous with celebrating. Or what about being stressed out? “I need a drink.” Too wound up “I’ll have a glass of wine to relax.” Champagne toasts, drinks to break the ice on a first date, you name it, there’s a reason to drink to it. Hey, I don’t mind. So how come those same people who love to indulge in the alcohol, get so worked up over some person or a group of people sparking up a joint? Hypocrite much? I think that’s what rubs me the wrong way. It’s the fact that people judge and don’t take time out to really look at themselves. The same people, I know personally, were talking shit about celebrating 420, and I know for a fact that they go out to the club and purposely get shit-faced and call it a good time. These are the same people who I’ve partied with before. Downing shots of heaven knows what. They feel that a party is not a party without consuming large amounts of alcohol. It’s almost like a badge of honor. They’ll even go as far as to ridicule a person who may not be able to hang. Labeling them a light-weight.

Again, is it purely the question of legality here? Both alcohol and weed alter your state. Why is one more acceptable? This is a sincere attempt to understand. So if anyone can aid me here, I’d really appreciate it. It may seem like I’m fighting to defend my raging weed smoking habit, that’s really not it. I won’t lie and say that I never tried it. But I’m far from being considered a weed smoker. I will say, out of the times I’ve tried it, I preferred it to drinking alcohol. No throwing up from too much of it, no hangover, no sloppy drunkenness. So until someone can get me to understand why there’s a stigma attached to MaryJane, I’ll say puff, puff, give.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just For Today

Everyone is entitled to a bitch and moan day. That’s okay right? Well, today is mine. Hopefully, tomorrow won’t be the same. I keep seeing this quote online, “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been strong for too long.” by Author Unknown. Today, I feel like I’ve been strong for too long. Before I go on, I have to say that I’m normally not what the kids call a “hater.” I actually take joy in the success of people around me. Often times, I’m helping others more than I help myself. Just for today, I can’t help but ask, why them and not me?

By them, I mean people I know who have been grimy. A dead-beat dad who’s chosen to be estranged from my children. Lying, cheating ex-boyfriends. Shady family members who have stolen from me. How do their dreams come true before mine? I’m the parent who chose to stay and raise my children. I was the ever faithful partner in all of my relationships. Family, that’s sacred to me. I would never intentionally hurt my own flesh and blood.

So, I’m left wondering how the dead-beat dad has a lovely wife, other children, and a home in Florida. With a pool no less. An ex-fiancée finally purchasing a home. This, after he messed up our plans. Two weeks from closing on a home we were supposed to purchase, he’s caught being unfaithful. Yet I get turned down for a home loan on a stupid technicality. It makes no sense to me. Just for today…

I realize that there are people worse off.. Given the recent tragedies in the world, I should be thanking my lucky stars. Normally, I do. It may not seem like it, but I do believe in the law of Karma. I have a firm grasp of the “grass is not always greener” notion. Yet, here I am whining and complaining. Luckily, it’s just for today.


April 22, 2010. That’s the date my first novel was released! It’s almost that time again. My baby will be celebrating its first birthday. Join me in celebrating this milestone. Over at my publisher’s facebook page, we’re holding a contest. Here is a snippet from the publisher’s post:

“In honor of our one year bookaversary, the day our debut titles were released. We will be holding a contest throughout the month of April. Our actual bookaversary is April 22. Celebrate with us!

(Click here for Touche Publishing’s Facebook Page)

Refer a Friend Contest

The contest will be set up with a points system in place. Be the first contestant to accumulate 100 points and win! By getting your friends to participate on Touche Publishing’s “fan” page, through various activities, you can be the winner of an Electronic Book Reader.”

(Click here for the full post)

A big thanks to everyone who has followed my journey this past year. You have made it such a rewarding experience for me. I continue to learn from each one of you. You only make me better, so don’t go anywhere :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Delusional Doom Blogfest

I am happy to announce that I am participating in another cool Blogfest! Here are a few details:

When: The Ides of March (March 15) obviously
Where: Your blog and mine

Let me e’splain…
You can do ANY (or all) of the following:

Predict your own death

Predict someone ELSES death

Write your own obituary

Write someone ELSES obituary

Plot a murder of someone sorely asking for it, step by step

For full details (click here)

For my contribution, I will plot a death :)

I suppose I should be thanking you, since you were responsible for giving me life. Yet, here I am plotting your demise. How did we arrive here? Where did we go wrong? You were supposed to be first in my heart from the very beginning. I thought you'd always be there to comfort me. To reassure me when times got rough. Wasn't it your job to accept being placed on a pedestal? Being put before all others.

Instead, you abandoned me. Left me wondering why I wasn't good enough for you to stay. You went off, and spread your wings. You found others to grace with your presence. You carried on, producing many others like me. In that case, why not just stay? I know for sure, that I accepted you with faults and all. Worked so hard to forgive you when you hurt me. But still, you left repeatedly. You would return periodically. Apparently to torture me. Remind me of your greatness. Only to bolt the minute things got complicated. What did I ever do to you?

You've made it painfully clear that you have no regard for my existence. So why should I care anything about yours? I've come to resent everything you stand for. Most days I'm thoroughly annoyed that you even exist. For that, I must rid the world of you. Not only for myself, but for the others you helped to destroy. I'll use your modus operandi against you. I'm going to lull you into a false sense of security and strike when you're unaware. With the same hands I use, to wipe away the tears you've caused; I'm going to rip your heart out. You will learn what it feels like, for someone else to hold your heart in their hands. I will watch with baited breath, as it beats for the last time.

Farewell, love. I will not mourn you for long. For I know that I have the power to resurrect you at anytime. It's just a matter of wanting to, or not.


Rest in Peace

Love, former bane to man's existence, has died this 15th day of March 2011.
It was said to have conquered all, but in the end, could not even save itself.
Love will be remembered fondly, as it did find its way into many hearts.
Love is survived by those who believed in it, and those who it eluded.
Numerous memorial services will be held worldwide for those having had faith in Love.
Celebrations for those slighted by Love will commence immediately.

Thank You For Being a Friend

Thank You For Being a Friend

Posted: March 12, 2011 by May Torres in Mentions, Random, Writing
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In 1981 Congress passed a resolution recognizing Women’s History Week. In 1987 they expanded the focus to a whole month. March has been set aside as this month in the United Kingdom and in the United States. So in keeping with this spirit of celebration, I’d like to talk about women I admire. For the next month, I will highlight a few of these women each week. Some I know personally, and some are people I wish I knew.

My next selection for women I admire, is someone I know personally. (Click here for previous post)

My partner in crime, R.C. Berry. I have only known her about three years, but it feels like I’ve known her so much longer. I mean that in a good way :) We have shared a life-time of experiences in such a short time span. We met and traveled together almost immediately. Our first stop, Miami’s South Beach. It was a short weekend trip but we packed in a lot of fun and discovered the start to a great friendship.

Ras and May

Since then we have traveled several more times, visited each others respective home towns, and embarked on a new journey; writing. When I met her she was an awesome event planner. I even attended her kick-ass New Year’s Eve masquerade party. It was well-planned and very successful. I had never been to an event like it. However, not too long after we met, the economy tanked. She had to put her business on hold. It was right after that, that we started writing our first books. We published them under the new publishing company we started, and haven’t looked back.

This is all well and good, but I want to tell you why I admire her. The first reason is because she has the most infectious smile. It really is, that simple. She has a Betty Rubble giggle that makes me chuckle. When we met, I was going through a terrible heartbreak. Something about her witty and sunny disposition made me feel better. She’s hilarious and if you read one of my previous posts, you’ll know that I really love funny people. A good sense of humor is such a wonderful trait to have. And boy does she have it.

I’ve never had a more generous friend. If there’s something she thinks you should have, she gives it. That includes her affection and love. There is never a time, when I have to question her feelings. She readily gives of herself, and doesn’t ask for anything in return. The very first year I met her, I fell on hard times and found myself without money to buy my children Christmas gifts. Just from me mentioning my dilemma, she took action. She sent money to my PayPal account and didn’t say a word. When I saw the email advising me that she had sent me money, I wept. The gesture was so selfless because I knew she was also going through financial hardship. She just wanted my children to have Christmas.

From that point on, I knew I had finally found a person who I could trust. Someone I could trust to have my best interest at heart. Trust that I could depend on her to be there in my time of need. No matter what the need. Trust her with my thoughts and feelings. Knowing that I could confide in her without her passing judgment. I can safely say, I know she’ll always be there. With deep love and gratitude for taking special care of our friendship, I say, thank you for being a friend.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Erotica/Comedy Short Story Contest

I wanted to share some information about a contest that's running from March 1-15. Writer, L.M. Stull, who appears to be addicted to hosting short story contests, is at it again. The mission: Erotica/Comedy. I just could not pass it up. Both genres capture my full attention. As a matter of fact, I find myself mostly attracted to funny people ;) (If that applies to you, kindly leave your number here ________ ) :D

This link Erotica/Comedy Short Story Contest will take you straight to the contest details if you're interested in entering. While you're there, check out all the other cool stuff on the site. (Then subscribe :) ,to join the ranks of the cool kids )

If you happen to find yourself curious about my submission, you can check it out here. You will need a password so just contact me and I'll supply you with it. You can reach me at: or

Don't kill me, it was my first time writing in the Erotica genre. Be kind :D

Thank You, Alanis Morissette

In 1981 Congress passed a resolution recognizing Women's History Week. In 1987 they expanded the focus to a whole month. March has been set aside as this month in the United Kingdom and in the United States. So in keeping with this spirit of celebration, I'd like to talk about women I admire. For the next month, I will highlight a few of these women each week. Some I know personally, and some are people I wish I knew.

The first will come as no surprise to anyone who talks to me or reads anything about me :)

Alanis Morissette

My Goddess

I love the lyrics to every single song she writes and sings. I do mean every single song. That is why I adore her. She has a very distinctive voice. There's not many artists out there that I can say, I love every single song on their album. How can I not love a woman who passionately sings: "Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity? I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner. It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced and are you thinking of me when you fuck her?"

I admire her strength in putting her vulnerability on display. I feel like I've grown as I followed her musical journey. For every album she made, there were songs that covered what I was going through at that exact point in time.

She started out with angst-filled lyrics early on. No doubt chronicling her tumultuous life at that given time. When she released her album Jagged Little Pill, I was reeling from my very first break-up. And it was UGLY. So I was right there with her, feeling every word she belted out.

As she matured, a few albums later, she began taking responsibility for her actions. She stopped making excuses and stopped blaming others for what happened to her. She no longer played victim. I learned to do the same. And it was freeing. I forgave people and began to heal.

Alanis Morissette's words have brought me great comfort. She has fought her way through heartbreak and is now happily married with a new baby. That gives me an ounce of hope, that I will one day find a healthy relationship. I'm sure there's somebody I can click with. Just haven't met them yet :)

Through it all, she remained a beam of light, sharing her wisdom with her fans. She may not have the recognition that a Beyonce or Britney Spears has, but she has a millions of die-hard fans around the globe. We don't care that her music doesn't get radio play, we'll support and follow her no matter what. Her message is one I admire. I feel deep gratitude that she has allowed us in, on her life's journey. Thank You, Alanis Morissette!

My girl crush :-)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bernard Pivot Blogfest!

I came across Nicole Ducleroir's blog One Significant Moment At A Time a few weeks ago. I saw that there was going to be something fun going on February 16th. Here we are, weeks later and I'm excited to participate. The following is a snippit from her blog that tells all about the event going on today.

"Welcome to the Bernard Pivot Blogfest! We have over 105 bloggers playing along, but if you've come by for a visit and you're not on the list, feel free to jump aboard!
We're having fun with Pivot's ten question questionnaire, made famous in this country by James Lipton of Inside the Actor's Studio. (Blank questionnaire found here.) Blogfest participants have filled out the questionnaire and pasted it with their answers on their blogs today. Hop from blog to blog and read everyone's answers! I hope you learn something interesting about your blog friends and meet some new people."

Without further ado, here are my answers.

  1. What is your favorite word? I love the word "reciprocity." It's not only fun to say, but also has great meaning. I work hard to embody the word. I wish for it to be prevalent my life, but sadly is not. I'm working to surround myself with people whose favorite word is also, reciprocity.
  2. What is your least favorite word? My least favorite word is going to be surprising. As a woman, I laugh at myself for hating this word so much. The word, vagina. Oh how I hate that word. It drives me crazy! I most definitely prefer using some of the more crass terms for that particular part of the female anatomy.
  3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Creatively, I love the unknown, the unexplained, and the illogical. That gets my juices flowing. Spiritually, compassion and enlightenment turns me on. I love when there is a higher consciousness. A reverence for all living things and the planet. Emotionally, trust and loyalty turn me on. When I have those things my heart is completely open.
  4. What turns you off? This is the easiest. LIARS!!!!! People who lack integrity. That's a sure fire way to lose my erection for someone :)
  5. What is your favorite curse word? I hate that I have to choose one. It's a toss up between shit and fuck. Can we just say my answer is, shitfuck? Hey that's a word! I think...
  6. What sound or noise do you love? Hysterical laughter. It's contageous.
  7. What sound or noise do you hate? Anything repetitive. Tapping, people repeating themselves over and over, etc.
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Psychology. It's absolutely fascinating to me.
  9. What profession would you not like to do? Medical examiner. I would hate to examine the bodies of those who were taken away violently. It would make me even highly cynical and perhaps turn me into the "Tiny Avenger" (<--Short joke)
  10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "See, you did matter."

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Just Thought I'd Mention It

Just a few weeks ago, I posted a blog entry about how difficult it was to find reciprocity. I wanted to write a quick follow-up to that post. While I still see a huge lack of reciprocity in my networking circle, I have to bring attention to those who have come through. One of the replies to my post came from a gentleman I came across in cyberspace. He pointed out how keeping track of several hundred contacts can be somewhat difficult. I understand his point, and totally see how it could be. I think what irks me most, is the number of people whose only concern is having the most friends and followers. The ones interested in only serving their needs. I look for people who actually engage their friends and followers. So this post is dedicated them. *I provided direct links to each person mentioned. So, please click on the highlighted text to "meet" them.* :)

The gentleman I mentioned above, is Draven Ames. He's a writer and takes interest in the people in his social networking circle, whether it be Twitter or Facebook. Although he has many followers and hundreds of friends on Facebook, he still manages to be approachable. Follow him on Twitter or through his blog Another Slightly Scary Story. Find out more about him. You'll be glad you did.

Being Latino Online Magazine, is a site I first came upon via Facebook. They bring together the Latino community through a series of informative articles. They help educate while also being entertaining. No matter who the author is of a particular article, you can rest assured that they will appreciate your interest and converse with you. You can follow them on Twitter and check out their magazine here on WordPress

Just by connecting with Draven Ames and Being Latino, I was able to be exposed to others, I find interesting to follow.

Sheri Jenkins White- She writes great stories. You have to check them out on Chaos and Contentment

Julio Varela- He has an excellent blog on WordPress and might I add, cojones! [sorry :-)]

Icess Fernandez -Nice to chat with. Check out her blog Writing to Insanity

Ms Kitty Alvarez- So much fun to chat up. Check her out on Twitter

John Marino- Cool blog about horror. Check him out at Horror Writing

Laurel-Rain Snow- Always an active participant on my blog. You can check out her blog here on WordPress

I'm sure I'll be updating this list frequently. Finally, I also want to mention a few of my personal friends who always show me support.

R.C. Berry-Fantastic new author and my partner on this publishing journey. Kind and amazing friend! Check her out on Facebook and Touché Publishing

Amy Priscilla Kim- I've known Amy over 10 years now. She's smart and sassy. She's also an Independent Sales Representative/eRepresentative at Avon. Find out more info at her Avon website and follow her on Twitter.

Jen Ryan-Super cool lady and good friend. She has been a big supporter. Jen has a blog which is one of my favorites, UnseenNYC. Since most tour guide sites and books concentrate on Manhattan, her site caters to the other boroughs of New York City. Follow her on Twitter

Angela McCool- Fun, with a lot of spunk. She is a "friend of a friend" who quickly became one of mine. She just launched her new products which you can find at Mariposa Fashions. I think the ladies will love them and men even more ;)

I enjoy sharing cyberspace with each of these people, just thought I'd mention it.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

My Guilty Pleasures...What Are Yours

So, yeah. I have the same sob story you hear quite often today. Broke, single-parent trying to make it. That's me. I am a child care provider by day. Wannabe best-selling author by night :). My days are spent with six children, ranging in age from 21 months to 4 years old. My day starts at 7am and ends at 7pm. I do it all without an assistant. I have two children of my own to tend to, once my day job is over. That's a full-time job in itself.

In between diaper changes and tantrums, I try to get on the internet and schmooze. It's one of my favorite things to do because it puts me in touch with other adults. I work from home. So there's no getting out of the office on my lunch break. I'm basically home all day with the little ones. So if you happen to engage me in online conversation, I thank you! :) But anyway, I tell you this, because dealing with children all day is highly stressful. Throw a wacky personal life in the mix and it makes for a chaotic existence.

I'd say I have about two hours to myself a day, if that. Of course, there are those few hours I spend sleeping. But are we really going to count those? Sometimes I need a break from my reality. One where I don't have to think,or solve anyone else's problem. That's where guilty pleasures enter the equation. The following are quick fixes. Things I can enjoy without putting much thought or effort into.

Television! I dvr lots of shows and catch up on the weekend. When my brain hurts, I turn on the TV and escape for a bit. There are plenty of smart shows that I watch, but that's not what this post is about. I don't feel guilty about watching House, Criminal Minds, or Law & Order: SVU. I'm talking about shows like American Idol, Hell's Kitchen, and yes, The Jersey Shore. The last of these being, the most guilty fun I'll admit to having :D, while watching the boob tube. I'm well aware that I'm losing precious brain cells while sitting through this show. But by golly, I find it so entertaining. The kicker is, I have NO idea why! If you see me in a different light after this confession, eh, I think I can live with it :).

The cast of The Jersey Shore
Another show that falls under the guilty pleasure category is, Spartacus: Blood and Sand. I'm going to use text and instant message speak here, just because this show is so, O-M-G! The prequel to this show, and currently airing is, Spartacus: Gods of The Arena. This show is also O-M-G! After one episode of this show, you too, will feel guilty having watched. You may even decide to take a shower. A cold one! ;)

Music! I love all types of music. I'm more inclined to listen to the singer/songwriter type artist. I love music the way I love my movies. Smart, with great dialogue, compelling me to think about it long after I'm done watching. Again, that's not what this post is about :). When I'm feeling particularly drained, there's Ke$ha and Katy Perry! Ke$ha, and her over-use of autotune, just lighten my spirits. My daughter says, "All her songs sound alike." Yes, but they bring me to a happy place :) Come on, admit it. You know you like Tik Tok! Katy Perry. Bless her girl-kissing heart. Her songs just put a pep in my step. Just put yourself on autopilot and go. Firework and California Gurls. Oh! Sweet, guilty fun. That's coming from a die-hard Alanis Morissette fan!
Katy Perry
I've admitted to some of my guilty pleasures. What are yours?

Friday, January 28, 2011

I Want You To Know

In the last few days, traffic to my blog has increased. I'm excited and somewhat nervous :). All this time I've been writing about whatever came to my mind, be it, a rant or some tidbit about my book. Of course, I realized that this information was going out into cyberspace, for all the world to see. As long as there were only a few people trickling in, to read about what's on my random mind, I was safe. Now that people are stopping by more frequently, it hit me. I'm inviting people into my world, and they're actually coming in. Yikes! For those who know me personally, they know that I can be painfully shy, at first. I'm a very private person yet, here I am, putting myself out there in a very public way. Yeah, it baffles me too :D. Anyway, since I've invited you in, and you don't seem to mind, here are some things I want you to know:

  • I was born and raised in New York City.
  • I'm a child of divorce raised by a single mom.
  • I'm what you call a Nuyorican.
  • I speak spanglish
  • I'm a single mom of an 18-year-old son, and a 16-year-old daughter
  • I love Alanis Morissette, I swear she's my goddess(She even played God in the movie Dogma)
  • I'm a vegetarian(Not the preachy kind, to each his own)
  • I run a day care in my home(Yes, I'm crazy like that)
  • I love to travel
  • I love learning new things and meeting people of different backgrounds.
  • I'm stubborn(Hey blame my mother for conceiving me in August to be born in May, therefore, making me a Taurus)
  • I suffered with a bout of depression years back
  • My heart has been broken, one too many times, now I'm having a hard time putting it back together.
  • I'm currently struggling with weight loss issues
  • I've been known to be a funny little thing
  • Speaking of little thing, I'm 4 feet 9 inches tall(or short rather)
  • I've secretly always wanted to be daddy's little girl. (He had to go and be insane. The nerve!)
  • I love bread. All kinds of bread!
  • Do NOT laugh! I have an irrational fear, yes a phobia, of....BUTTERFLIES. (They terrify me)
  • I enjoy watching, yes, I really do, The Jersey Shore.(Guilty pleasure)

I suppose, for now, that's all I want you to know.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

When I look At My Son

Last night, I went with my son to check out, his very first car. What? How is that even possible? My firstborn is 18! There's no way that can be true. I don't feel like I should be the mother adult. The fact of the matter is, I became a mother at the age of 19. I look at my son, and wonder, how the hell was I somebody's mother at that age? My son plays video games, and has a Blackberry surgically attached to his hand. He hangs out with his friends, and plays basketball. I was breastfeeding a newborn every three hours at that age. I lost my first love, along with my naiveté, at that age. I became a single parent at that age.

The harsh reality hit me. I was on my own, with a brand new baby boy. Dad was already occupied with another girl. Then another. Soon he found himself "not allowed" to talk to me. So any chance of him helping was, slim to none. That is how it remains till this day.

It's now, that I can understand, what my mother must have gone through watching her firstborn go through that hardship. My heart would break, to watch my "baby" get his heart handed to him on a platter. Then left with a most precious responsibility to face, on his own.

When I look at my son, I'm happy that his life is already so different from mine. He didn't have to become a latchkey kid at a young age. He kept himself out of trouble, by getting involved with basketball. He didn't spend time, exclusively, with any particular girl, long-term. He's working and taking college courses now. While he does have a new girlfriend, he's not totally consumed by her.

My son is well-mannered, handsome, and a decent human being. He's got a fun-loving personality that's garnered many friendships. I see the great amount of dedication, and a job well-done, when I look at my son.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why Is It So Hard To Find People Who Will Reciprocate?

I'm just wondering, do the people who choose to use Facebook or Twitter for business purposes, really care about networking? I've created a few different accounts for my business endeavors, separate from my personal life. For nearly a year, next to none of the people who initiated a connection, even interact with me. I didn't seek them out, they requested the "friendship." Most of them post all about themselves, and offer no feedback to the people they chose to put in their circle. Like me.

Why bother surrounding yourself with tons of people, who could potentially, become customers, just to ignore them? Are they so consumed in trying to make a name for themselves, that they forget the need to actually connect with potential consumers? I don't enjoy feeling like I was put on someone's contact list, only, to be constantly pitched with their product.

To me, networking is like a give and take. I'll pitch my idea to you, and then listen when you pitch your idea. Maybe, take it a little further, and introduce one another's goods to our respective contacts. It doesn't seem to work out that way. I feel like people are more interested in accumulating a large number of "friends" just to show that they can. Are all these people actively involved? Do they contribute, at all, to your cause? Have they become a consumer of your goods? No, mostly they're just taking up space. You've invited them into your circle, to watch the one-man show that you created.

After a while of witnessing this, I finally decided to try to create a space, for people who were serious about networking. I started a Facebook page, dedicated to helping people with a good or service, connect with others like them. People joined the page, and I began to feel hopeful. Sadly, of the number of people who joined, there are, perhaps, three people who contribute. That's including me.

I'm going to try to remain hopeful, because I truly believe in the cause. I consider myself to be supportive, of those trying to make things happen for themselves. Anyway I can help, I will. Why is it so hard to find people who will reciprocate?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Where Do We Draw The Line?

I work from home, so I spend a considerable amount of time on the internet. I search the web for tips on improving my life, both, personally and professionally. Therefore, I participate on the popular networking sites such as, Facebook and Twitter. I have an account for each of the aforementioned areas of my life. I do love the idea of being able to stay in touch with family and friends alike, who I don't see very often. I interact with long-lost high school classmates and even old crushes. It sounds like such a great deal, on paper. It really should be, but there is one thing that just ruins it for me. Drama! Why on Earth do people, in their infinite wisdom, air their dirty laundry on Facebook? Who the hell wants to know that you're having a spat with your significant other. Even worse, having that spat played out on status updates! Can we say awkward! Apparently, not awkward enough for the individuals involved. I've had friends update me about their girlfriends passing gas, sex habits, how they like sex,how they are just about to go have sex, how they just finished having sex, public disputes with a lover, how their lover doesn't appreciate them because they didn't text them, how much they hate their lives, etc. Everything I just mentioned is on any given day. Yes, I've accepted friend requests from these people. I had no idea what I was accepting. Am I wrong in thinking this is just too much? Should I be accepting everyone's right to express themselves freely? Where do we draw the line?

For Goodness Sake, Shut Up!

I'm going to make this blog entry like me, short and sweet. (Really, I am...sweet) I'm so tired of people publicly, doling out advice and appearing to be so enlightened, when I know for a fact they are so full of shit. Liars, cheats, people who don't know the meaning of reciprocity or loyalty, telling others to cherish friends and what not. Hypocrite much? For goodness sake, shut up!

Sometimes Life Hands out "No's"

I am a mother of two children, well, they're not exactly children anymore. My son will turn 18 in November and my daughter just had her 16th birthday. I work with children, as I run a daycare. I have to say, I am scared for our future. I think every generation probably says the same thing, but wow! I used to live in New York City, now I live upstate in the country. You hear such nonsense about city folks. They're rude, they don't care about anything, they're always on the go, live a fast life, etc. There's the tough, inner city kid, stereotype all over movies and television. New Yorkers are depicted as wise-talking, hardcore, people. While you might find people fitting this description, as with anything, it's a generalization. All this to say, I have lived in the inner city and now in the suburbs, and I have never seen such rotten children as I have upstate. What is it about getting out of the city limits that has kids acting a fool? Is it sheer boredom? It's not to say that kids in the city are not unruly. It's a different kind of craziness. I used to watch the show Super Nanny, and think that those kids were just acting up for the camera, maybe prompted to do certain things for shock value. Well, let me tell you. Those kids with that kind of behavior exist. They exist up here in the suburbs. When I was a kid, if I ever dared to raise my hand at my mother, I'd probably not be able to use that hand for a few days. Curse at my mother? Yeah, if I didn't care to have teeth. I raised my kids with the same type of mentality. There was no way they would ever speak out of turn with me. I never really had to get spanked to know that my mother was not playing games with me. My kids turned out the same way. That's not what I see happening with my daycare kids. I don't know if the parents are too tired, or if society has given all the power to the children. It's like parents are afraid to say "No" to their children. Then when these same children go out into the world they don't deal well with rejection or play nice in society. I understand that there needs to be certain rules in effect to protect children, but I think we went too far. That's just my humble opinion. Right or wrong, my mother's method worked with me. When my mother said something, I did not question her or even protest. I knew there would be a consequence, whether it was a punishment or a smack to the bottom. I swat my children on the hand or the bottom at times. But mostly I didn't have to because they knew I was serious. I was consistent with them. I didn't hand out a bunch of empty threats. There was no arguing back and forth with them. I did not let them have their way when it got too difficult. It worked out well because my kids are great people. They know right from wrong, and they know that sometimes life hands out "No's"

Yuiza...Female Taino Cacique

When I set out to write Enchanted Island, I knew, for sure that, I wanted to have a strong female character. Not only, did I want a strong female character but, I wanted her to be Hispanic/Latina. In doing my research I came across a woman who, sadly, I had not heard of before. I learned things that, I only had vague knowledge about, prior to writing Enchanted Island. One of the reasons why I'm so happy that I wrote the book. Yuiza, (Yuisa, Loaiza, Luisa, Loiza) was one of two, Taino female caciques (chiefs) in all of the Caribbean, in her time.

When the Spaniards came to Puerto Rico they enslaved the Tainos, who were native to the land. The Tainos could not adjust to the harsh treatment. Many were killed or died of illness. The Spaniards then took the Taino women as their wives. Legend has it that, Yuiza became involved with, Mulatto Conquistador, Pedro Mejias. Much to the dismay of others. They were said to have married. Back then, the Taino women were forced to abandon their religious beliefs and, get baptized Catholic, in order to marry a Spaniard. Yuiza angered some, by accepting the Spaniard's God. Her own tribal people saw her as a hero, as she saved many lives by taking a Spaniard husband. However, other Taino caciques saw her as a traitor and, killed her. While there is no actual proof that the marriage took place, many believe that the area known as Loiza, Puerto Rico was named after Yuiza. The legend may just give merit to the mix in Loiza of, Africans and Taino Indians.

When I came across this legend, it made such an impression on me. I then saw a painting of artist, Samuel Lind's, interpretation of Yuiza. She appeared, beautiful and strong. That's when, all my ideas came together. My book is categorized as, historical fiction. The following is the author's note:

In writing this story, I wanted to convey the rich history of Puerto
Rico in an entertaining way. I have always been fascinated by the
idea of reincarnation and, past lives. I am also a firm believer in
Karma and, wanted to incorporate these ideas into the story.
Although, this work includes the real names of people in history, it
is in no way a statement of fact. The story is purely of my imagination
and, strictly for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the ride.

Enchanted Island starts out one way, and ends up a whole other. Will you decide to take the ride? :)

New Project

*Originally posted on WordPress July 2010

(c) Copyright 2010 May Torres

The past few months, I've been getting ready to be an exhibitor at FaerieCon. I went last year, for the first time with two friends and had a wonderful time. I spoke about it, briefly, in my last post. It's an event where people from all over, who believe in faeries and the fae way of life, come together to celebrate. Anything relating to fantasy and the mythical is represented there. It's a gathering of like-minded people ,from all walks of life. The general feeling is, of acceptance and inclusion. I never felt bad about the few extra pounds around my middle. Or my overly curly hair. Or my tiny stature. There were so many talented people there. This year, my good friend and I, would like to join the ranks. In preparing for the event, I've had fantasy on the brain. Most of all faeries. It got my brain working, and I began writing a story. With Enchanted Island, there were supernatural elements to the story. Karma was the theme. In this new story I'm touching upon fantasy and magic. There will, of course, be a love story. I'm not very much into, what one would call, sappy fairy tales so, I'm sure the story will develope dark aspects at some point. The following is an excerpt you will only find here :)


All of her life, Alura had been told, never to venture past the Kielletty falls. This particular summer morning, just before dawn, she found herself nearing the prohibited waters. Alura’s inquisitive nature, often landed her in one fine mess after the next. Luckily, she was always able to escape each instance, unscathed. Taking slow strides, she got in close enough, to feel the gentle mist against her face. She closed her eyes and, took in every refreshing moment of the cooling spray.
Like a Siren song, the soothing waters called to her. Alura ignored every warning she was ever given. She brazenly set her right foot in, the shallow brook that lead to the falls. As she prepared to immerse her left foot, her eyes locked onto a ghastly sight. After a barely audible gasp, Alura darted off, unsure if her eyes had just deceived her.


Alura sat at the foot of her bed, rehashing the memory, of what she witnessed down by the falls. Never had she come upon such a vision. She knew no one would believe her account, for she barely believed it herself. Deciding not to speak of it to anyone, she tucked the memory, safely, in the back of her mind. One thing Alura knew for certain, it would not be the last time she would visit Kielletty Falls.

(c) Copyright 2010 May Torres

This is just the condensed version of the introduction. I'm having fun, so far. I've written six chapters already and, I have to say, it's quite liberating, to be able to write about whimsical fantasy. There are no rules to follow, or particular facts to get straight. It's purely up to me, what type of magical world to create. There you have it, my new project.

It's Been a While

*Originally posted on WordPress June 2010*

It's been a while since I've blogged. I have taken some time to concentrate on new projects. It seems people in my social circle are enjoying my first crack at writing a novel. Enchanted Island has been available since April 2010 and, now through for two months. It seems like its been a hundred years since its release. It's a slow painful process, promoting the book. There were plenty of people showing interest once they knew I had written a book. When it was time to put the book out there, all I heard was crickets :) Despite the slow process, I've managed to sell half the first edition copies printed. So now I have started on a new story. It doesn't have a title as of yet but, it's most probably going to be classified as Fantasy. Along with the new book project, I'm planning a sweet 16 birthday party for my daughter coming up in August. My son just graduated from high school two weeks ago. So, I've been pretty busy. And if that wasn't enough, I'm preparing for an event called FaerieCon. Yes, you read it correctly. I went last year and had a ball. This time I will be attending as a vendor. I will be selling my book and some other handmade items. It's a big deal, lots of people come from across the country and even from out of the country, to attend. I've been busy crafting a few things to put up for sale. I'm also going to get back into making my own natural product, such as lip balms,lotions and body washes. I used to make them before and loved it but, then life got in the way. So it's a very busy time for me. I don't mind though. I needed a little breather, so I decided to catch up with my blog because, it's been a while.

One Man's Trash, Is Another One's Treasure

I always loved the saying "One Man's Trash, Is Another One's Treasure." It really hit home, after the last man I was in relationship with, attempted to make me feel "less than." At first, I resented him for implying that I was broken. After time, I did the worst thing possible. I started to believe him. In little ways he was breaking my spirits. His words were like tiny daggers piercing my flesh. I became, broken. I know now, that it was all because he is highly insecure. One would never believe it by his "bragadocious" ways. He took stabs at me because he was feeling low about himself, in my opinion. He's the type of person that needs constant adoration in order to thrive. He's built himself up so much, people actually believe what they see on the surface. I know I did. Underneath, lies a coward who needs to put people down in order to feel good about himself. After a downward spiral, I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off. Other men came along. They were interested in me. After talking to me and getting to know me a little, they would always ask the same question. "Why are you single?" Well, I used to wonder the same thing at one time. Now I could care less. I know I'm a good person and an even better partner. I believe it wholeheartedly now. I will only allow myself to be in a situation where, I don't have to worry about being one man's trash. I already know that, I am a treasure.

When I first heard the song "According to You" by Orianthi, I thought it was okay. I enjoyed the music, it's a catchy tune. It was not until I actually listened to the lyrics that, I truly appreciated the song.

Here's a link to the video and lyrics. /according-to-you-lyrics

If You're Not Married, You're Single?

So I've seen the above video a few times. The first time I watched, it was like a confirmation of what I'd been feeling prior to viewing. I learned the hard way, about being with someone and giving them "the most." I was committing marital acts and wasn't anyone's wife. I soon corrected the error of my ways. Then again, I saw this video when a friend and ex-boyfriend posted this on a social networking site. It made me chuckle and not in a good way. He dated a woman then broke-up with her. Apparently she was having issues letting go. (She, yeah right) What happened following their break-up, was a carbon copy of what I went through with him. They continued as if they were in a relationship, but he had the luxury of calling himself totally single. All the while she was in a committed relationship with him. In other words, he was her boyfriend but, she wasn't his girlfriend. I should make one correction. When I carried on something similar with him, I did not refer to him as "my man" or "my boyfriend" and I most certainly did not date him exclusively post break-up. Now getting back to the moment he posted the above video. I had a good laugh with him, as we always had when speaking of the non-girlfriend girlfriend, as I refer to her as. He always called her crazy and accused her of being a stalker. The picture he painted of her was that of an insecure mess. But still, he kept her around and allowed her to cater to his every whim, continued to take the most from her, and date without time lines. He went as far as to make a bet with me that by a certain time, he would be fully single and free of her. I won the bet but he never paid up, because he hid under the "If you're not married, you're single" umbrella. My bet with him was about him not being completely single and free of the non-girlfriend. He knows he lost the bet and till this day continues to carry on marital acts with this woman. They're supposedly looking for homes together. She's situated in all aspects of his life. He even has other women flaunting escapades they have with him. And still, she allows herself to be made a fool of. With him appearing to enjoy every second of having the benefits of a relationship, while maintaining his "single" status. It's rather disgusting. I go on this mini rant because I'm so tired of liars and hypocrites. They post things like the above video and talk about how they're too old to be "playing house." Yet it's exactly what they're doing. For this reason I have lost most of my respect and desire for a conventional relationship. It's all I've ever experienced with men, and all I seem to witness around me. There's a small part of me that still believes in coupling, but not enough to inspire me to seek it out. I don't know, what do you think? Is dating worth anything? Is there anything in between or if you're not married, are you single?

Preview Enchanted Island

Take a peek at Enchanted Island on Google Books. You can now try a sample. It's basically the first chapter. It introduces you to Gabriella's simple life. By the end of the book, Gabriella's life is anything but simple. Come check it out for yourself.

Updating blog

I will be updating this blog by adding my posts from wordpress, where I normally blog. I've been coming across quite a few people who I'm following that blog here. So, when in Rome...