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Friday, January 28, 2011

I Want You To Know

In the last few days, traffic to my blog has increased. I'm excited and somewhat nervous :). All this time I've been writing about whatever came to my mind, be it, a rant or some tidbit about my book. Of course, I realized that this information was going out into cyberspace, for all the world to see. As long as there were only a few people trickling in, to read about what's on my random mind, I was safe. Now that people are stopping by more frequently, it hit me. I'm inviting people into my world, and they're actually coming in. Yikes! For those who know me personally, they know that I can be painfully shy, at first. I'm a very private person yet, here I am, putting myself out there in a very public way. Yeah, it baffles me too :D. Anyway, since I've invited you in, and you don't seem to mind, here are some things I want you to know:

  • I was born and raised in New York City.
  • I'm a child of divorce raised by a single mom.
  • I'm what you call a Nuyorican.
  • I speak spanglish
  • I'm a single mom of an 18-year-old son, and a 16-year-old daughter
  • I love Alanis Morissette, I swear she's my goddess(She even played God in the movie Dogma)
  • I'm a vegetarian(Not the preachy kind, to each his own)
  • I run a day care in my home(Yes, I'm crazy like that)
  • I love to travel
  • I love learning new things and meeting people of different backgrounds.
  • I'm stubborn(Hey blame my mother for conceiving me in August to be born in May, therefore, making me a Taurus)
  • I suffered with a bout of depression years back
  • My heart has been broken, one too many times, now I'm having a hard time putting it back together.
  • I'm currently struggling with weight loss issues
  • I've been known to be a funny little thing
  • Speaking of little thing, I'm 4 feet 9 inches tall(or short rather)
  • I've secretly always wanted to be daddy's little girl. (He had to go and be insane. The nerve!)
  • I love bread. All kinds of bread!
  • Do NOT laugh! I have an irrational fear, yes a phobia, of....BUTTERFLIES. (They terrify me)
  • I enjoy watching, yes, I really do, The Jersey Shore.(Guilty pleasure)

I suppose, for now, that's all I want you to know.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

When I look At My Son

Last night, I went with my son to check out, his very first car. What? How is that even possible? My firstborn is 18! There's no way that can be true. I don't feel like I should be the mother adult. The fact of the matter is, I became a mother at the age of 19. I look at my son, and wonder, how the hell was I somebody's mother at that age? My son plays video games, and has a Blackberry surgically attached to his hand. He hangs out with his friends, and plays basketball. I was breastfeeding a newborn every three hours at that age. I lost my first love, along with my naiveté, at that age. I became a single parent at that age.

The harsh reality hit me. I was on my own, with a brand new baby boy. Dad was already occupied with another girl. Then another. Soon he found himself "not allowed" to talk to me. So any chance of him helping was, slim to none. That is how it remains till this day.

It's now, that I can understand, what my mother must have gone through watching her firstborn go through that hardship. My heart would break, to watch my "baby" get his heart handed to him on a platter. Then left with a most precious responsibility to face, on his own.

When I look at my son, I'm happy that his life is already so different from mine. He didn't have to become a latchkey kid at a young age. He kept himself out of trouble, by getting involved with basketball. He didn't spend time, exclusively, with any particular girl, long-term. He's working and taking college courses now. While he does have a new girlfriend, he's not totally consumed by her.

My son is well-mannered, handsome, and a decent human being. He's got a fun-loving personality that's garnered many friendships. I see the great amount of dedication, and a job well-done, when I look at my son.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why Is It So Hard To Find People Who Will Reciprocate?

I'm just wondering, do the people who choose to use Facebook or Twitter for business purposes, really care about networking? I've created a few different accounts for my business endeavors, separate from my personal life. For nearly a year, next to none of the people who initiated a connection, even interact with me. I didn't seek them out, they requested the "friendship." Most of them post all about themselves, and offer no feedback to the people they chose to put in their circle. Like me.

Why bother surrounding yourself with tons of people, who could potentially, become customers, just to ignore them? Are they so consumed in trying to make a name for themselves, that they forget the need to actually connect with potential consumers? I don't enjoy feeling like I was put on someone's contact list, only, to be constantly pitched with their product.

To me, networking is like a give and take. I'll pitch my idea to you, and then listen when you pitch your idea. Maybe, take it a little further, and introduce one another's goods to our respective contacts. It doesn't seem to work out that way. I feel like people are more interested in accumulating a large number of "friends" just to show that they can. Are all these people actively involved? Do they contribute, at all, to your cause? Have they become a consumer of your goods? No, mostly they're just taking up space. You've invited them into your circle, to watch the one-man show that you created.

After a while of witnessing this, I finally decided to try to create a space, for people who were serious about networking. I started a Facebook page, dedicated to helping people with a good or service, connect with others like them. People joined the page, and I began to feel hopeful. Sadly, of the number of people who joined, there are, perhaps, three people who contribute. That's including me.

I'm going to try to remain hopeful, because I truly believe in the cause. I consider myself to be supportive, of those trying to make things happen for themselves. Anyway I can help, I will. Why is it so hard to find people who will reciprocate?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Where Do We Draw The Line?

I work from home, so I spend a considerable amount of time on the internet. I search the web for tips on improving my life, both, personally and professionally. Therefore, I participate on the popular networking sites such as, Facebook and Twitter. I have an account for each of the aforementioned areas of my life. I do love the idea of being able to stay in touch with family and friends alike, who I don't see very often. I interact with long-lost high school classmates and even old crushes. It sounds like such a great deal, on paper. It really should be, but there is one thing that just ruins it for me. Drama! Why on Earth do people, in their infinite wisdom, air their dirty laundry on Facebook? Who the hell wants to know that you're having a spat with your significant other. Even worse, having that spat played out on status updates! Can we say awkward! Apparently, not awkward enough for the individuals involved. I've had friends update me about their girlfriends passing gas, sex habits, how they like sex,how they are just about to go have sex, how they just finished having sex, public disputes with a lover, how their lover doesn't appreciate them because they didn't text them, how much they hate their lives, etc. Everything I just mentioned is on any given day. Yes, I've accepted friend requests from these people. I had no idea what I was accepting. Am I wrong in thinking this is just too much? Should I be accepting everyone's right to express themselves freely? Where do we draw the line?

For Goodness Sake, Shut Up!

I'm going to make this blog entry like me, short and sweet. (Really, I am...sweet) I'm so tired of people publicly, doling out advice and appearing to be so enlightened, when I know for a fact they are so full of shit. Liars, cheats, people who don't know the meaning of reciprocity or loyalty, telling others to cherish friends and what not. Hypocrite much? For goodness sake, shut up!

Sometimes Life Hands out "No's"

I am a mother of two children, well, they're not exactly children anymore. My son will turn 18 in November and my daughter just had her 16th birthday. I work with children, as I run a daycare. I have to say, I am scared for our future. I think every generation probably says the same thing, but wow! I used to live in New York City, now I live upstate in the country. You hear such nonsense about city folks. They're rude, they don't care about anything, they're always on the go, live a fast life, etc. There's the tough, inner city kid, stereotype all over movies and television. New Yorkers are depicted as wise-talking, hardcore, people. While you might find people fitting this description, as with anything, it's a generalization. All this to say, I have lived in the inner city and now in the suburbs, and I have never seen such rotten children as I have upstate. What is it about getting out of the city limits that has kids acting a fool? Is it sheer boredom? It's not to say that kids in the city are not unruly. It's a different kind of craziness. I used to watch the show Super Nanny, and think that those kids were just acting up for the camera, maybe prompted to do certain things for shock value. Well, let me tell you. Those kids with that kind of behavior exist. They exist up here in the suburbs. When I was a kid, if I ever dared to raise my hand at my mother, I'd probably not be able to use that hand for a few days. Curse at my mother? Yeah, if I didn't care to have teeth. I raised my kids with the same type of mentality. There was no way they would ever speak out of turn with me. I never really had to get spanked to know that my mother was not playing games with me. My kids turned out the same way. That's not what I see happening with my daycare kids. I don't know if the parents are too tired, or if society has given all the power to the children. It's like parents are afraid to say "No" to their children. Then when these same children go out into the world they don't deal well with rejection or play nice in society. I understand that there needs to be certain rules in effect to protect children, but I think we went too far. That's just my humble opinion. Right or wrong, my mother's method worked with me. When my mother said something, I did not question her or even protest. I knew there would be a consequence, whether it was a punishment or a smack to the bottom. I swat my children on the hand or the bottom at times. But mostly I didn't have to because they knew I was serious. I was consistent with them. I didn't hand out a bunch of empty threats. There was no arguing back and forth with them. I did not let them have their way when it got too difficult. It worked out well because my kids are great people. They know right from wrong, and they know that sometimes life hands out "No's"

Yuiza...Female Taino Cacique

When I set out to write Enchanted Island, I knew, for sure that, I wanted to have a strong female character. Not only, did I want a strong female character but, I wanted her to be Hispanic/Latina. In doing my research I came across a woman who, sadly, I had not heard of before. I learned things that, I only had vague knowledge about, prior to writing Enchanted Island. One of the reasons why I'm so happy that I wrote the book. Yuiza, (Yuisa, Loaiza, Luisa, Loiza) was one of two, Taino female caciques (chiefs) in all of the Caribbean, in her time.

When the Spaniards came to Puerto Rico they enslaved the Tainos, who were native to the land. The Tainos could not adjust to the harsh treatment. Many were killed or died of illness. The Spaniards then took the Taino women as their wives. Legend has it that, Yuiza became involved with, Mulatto Conquistador, Pedro Mejias. Much to the dismay of others. They were said to have married. Back then, the Taino women were forced to abandon their religious beliefs and, get baptized Catholic, in order to marry a Spaniard. Yuiza angered some, by accepting the Spaniard's God. Her own tribal people saw her as a hero, as she saved many lives by taking a Spaniard husband. However, other Taino caciques saw her as a traitor and, killed her. While there is no actual proof that the marriage took place, many believe that the area known as Loiza, Puerto Rico was named after Yuiza. The legend may just give merit to the mix in Loiza of, Africans and Taino Indians.

When I came across this legend, it made such an impression on me. I then saw a painting of artist, Samuel Lind's, interpretation of Yuiza. She appeared, beautiful and strong. That's when, all my ideas came together. My book is categorized as, historical fiction. The following is the author's note:

In writing this story, I wanted to convey the rich history of Puerto
Rico in an entertaining way. I have always been fascinated by the
idea of reincarnation and, past lives. I am also a firm believer in
Karma and, wanted to incorporate these ideas into the story.
Although, this work includes the real names of people in history, it
is in no way a statement of fact. The story is purely of my imagination
and, strictly for entertainment purposes only. Enjoy the ride.

Enchanted Island starts out one way, and ends up a whole other. Will you decide to take the ride? :)

New Project

*Originally posted on WordPress July 2010

(c) Copyright 2010 May Torres

The past few months, I've been getting ready to be an exhibitor at FaerieCon. I went last year, for the first time with two friends and had a wonderful time. I spoke about it, briefly, in my last post. It's an event where people from all over, who believe in faeries and the fae way of life, come together to celebrate. Anything relating to fantasy and the mythical is represented there. It's a gathering of like-minded people ,from all walks of life. The general feeling is, of acceptance and inclusion. I never felt bad about the few extra pounds around my middle. Or my overly curly hair. Or my tiny stature. There were so many talented people there. This year, my good friend and I, would like to join the ranks. In preparing for the event, I've had fantasy on the brain. Most of all faeries. It got my brain working, and I began writing a story. With Enchanted Island, there were supernatural elements to the story. Karma was the theme. In this new story I'm touching upon fantasy and magic. There will, of course, be a love story. I'm not very much into, what one would call, sappy fairy tales so, I'm sure the story will develope dark aspects at some point. The following is an excerpt you will only find here :)


All of her life, Alura had been told, never to venture past the Kielletty falls. This particular summer morning, just before dawn, she found herself nearing the prohibited waters. Alura’s inquisitive nature, often landed her in one fine mess after the next. Luckily, she was always able to escape each instance, unscathed. Taking slow strides, she got in close enough, to feel the gentle mist against her face. She closed her eyes and, took in every refreshing moment of the cooling spray.
Like a Siren song, the soothing waters called to her. Alura ignored every warning she was ever given. She brazenly set her right foot in, the shallow brook that lead to the falls. As she prepared to immerse her left foot, her eyes locked onto a ghastly sight. After a barely audible gasp, Alura darted off, unsure if her eyes had just deceived her.


Alura sat at the foot of her bed, rehashing the memory, of what she witnessed down by the falls. Never had she come upon such a vision. She knew no one would believe her account, for she barely believed it herself. Deciding not to speak of it to anyone, she tucked the memory, safely, in the back of her mind. One thing Alura knew for certain, it would not be the last time she would visit Kielletty Falls.

(c) Copyright 2010 May Torres

This is just the condensed version of the introduction. I'm having fun, so far. I've written six chapters already and, I have to say, it's quite liberating, to be able to write about whimsical fantasy. There are no rules to follow, or particular facts to get straight. It's purely up to me, what type of magical world to create. There you have it, my new project.

It's Been a While

*Originally posted on WordPress June 2010*

It's been a while since I've blogged. I have taken some time to concentrate on new projects. It seems people in my social circle are enjoying my first crack at writing a novel. Enchanted Island has been available since April 2010 and, now through for two months. It seems like its been a hundred years since its release. It's a slow painful process, promoting the book. There were plenty of people showing interest once they knew I had written a book. When it was time to put the book out there, all I heard was crickets :) Despite the slow process, I've managed to sell half the first edition copies printed. So now I have started on a new story. It doesn't have a title as of yet but, it's most probably going to be classified as Fantasy. Along with the new book project, I'm planning a sweet 16 birthday party for my daughter coming up in August. My son just graduated from high school two weeks ago. So, I've been pretty busy. And if that wasn't enough, I'm preparing for an event called FaerieCon. Yes, you read it correctly. I went last year and had a ball. This time I will be attending as a vendor. I will be selling my book and some other handmade items. It's a big deal, lots of people come from across the country and even from out of the country, to attend. I've been busy crafting a few things to put up for sale. I'm also going to get back into making my own natural product, such as lip balms,lotions and body washes. I used to make them before and loved it but, then life got in the way. So it's a very busy time for me. I don't mind though. I needed a little breather, so I decided to catch up with my blog because, it's been a while.

One Man's Trash, Is Another One's Treasure

I always loved the saying "One Man's Trash, Is Another One's Treasure." It really hit home, after the last man I was in relationship with, attempted to make me feel "less than." At first, I resented him for implying that I was broken. After time, I did the worst thing possible. I started to believe him. In little ways he was breaking my spirits. His words were like tiny daggers piercing my flesh. I became, broken. I know now, that it was all because he is highly insecure. One would never believe it by his "bragadocious" ways. He took stabs at me because he was feeling low about himself, in my opinion. He's the type of person that needs constant adoration in order to thrive. He's built himself up so much, people actually believe what they see on the surface. I know I did. Underneath, lies a coward who needs to put people down in order to feel good about himself. After a downward spiral, I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off. Other men came along. They were interested in me. After talking to me and getting to know me a little, they would always ask the same question. "Why are you single?" Well, I used to wonder the same thing at one time. Now I could care less. I know I'm a good person and an even better partner. I believe it wholeheartedly now. I will only allow myself to be in a situation where, I don't have to worry about being one man's trash. I already know that, I am a treasure.

When I first heard the song "According to You" by Orianthi, I thought it was okay. I enjoyed the music, it's a catchy tune. It was not until I actually listened to the lyrics that, I truly appreciated the song.

Here's a link to the video and lyrics. /according-to-you-lyrics

If You're Not Married, You're Single?

So I've seen the above video a few times. The first time I watched, it was like a confirmation of what I'd been feeling prior to viewing. I learned the hard way, about being with someone and giving them "the most." I was committing marital acts and wasn't anyone's wife. I soon corrected the error of my ways. Then again, I saw this video when a friend and ex-boyfriend posted this on a social networking site. It made me chuckle and not in a good way. He dated a woman then broke-up with her. Apparently she was having issues letting go. (She, yeah right) What happened following their break-up, was a carbon copy of what I went through with him. They continued as if they were in a relationship, but he had the luxury of calling himself totally single. All the while she was in a committed relationship with him. In other words, he was her boyfriend but, she wasn't his girlfriend. I should make one correction. When I carried on something similar with him, I did not refer to him as "my man" or "my boyfriend" and I most certainly did not date him exclusively post break-up. Now getting back to the moment he posted the above video. I had a good laugh with him, as we always had when speaking of the non-girlfriend girlfriend, as I refer to her as. He always called her crazy and accused her of being a stalker. The picture he painted of her was that of an insecure mess. But still, he kept her around and allowed her to cater to his every whim, continued to take the most from her, and date without time lines. He went as far as to make a bet with me that by a certain time, he would be fully single and free of her. I won the bet but he never paid up, because he hid under the "If you're not married, you're single" umbrella. My bet with him was about him not being completely single and free of the non-girlfriend. He knows he lost the bet and till this day continues to carry on marital acts with this woman. They're supposedly looking for homes together. She's situated in all aspects of his life. He even has other women flaunting escapades they have with him. And still, she allows herself to be made a fool of. With him appearing to enjoy every second of having the benefits of a relationship, while maintaining his "single" status. It's rather disgusting. I go on this mini rant because I'm so tired of liars and hypocrites. They post things like the above video and talk about how they're too old to be "playing house." Yet it's exactly what they're doing. For this reason I have lost most of my respect and desire for a conventional relationship. It's all I've ever experienced with men, and all I seem to witness around me. There's a small part of me that still believes in coupling, but not enough to inspire me to seek it out. I don't know, what do you think? Is dating worth anything? Is there anything in between or if you're not married, are you single?

Preview Enchanted Island

Take a peek at Enchanted Island on Google Books. You can now try a sample. It's basically the first chapter. It introduces you to Gabriella's simple life. By the end of the book, Gabriella's life is anything but simple. Come check it out for yourself.

Updating blog

I will be updating this blog by adding my posts from wordpress, where I normally blog. I've been coming across quite a few people who I'm following that blog here. So, when in Rome...