I Wish It Wasn't So Easy For Me to Lose It

It has been nearly two months since I last blogged. I don’t really have a good reason for staying away so long. I just sort of took a break from everything and did absolutely nothing. I think maybe it’s a case of burn out. Everything became too much. I have this blog, multiple social networking pages, and am attempting to write a second novel. Add a hectic everyday life and there you have it, burn out. My mind is nothing but mush. I’ve also embarked on a very unsuccessful weight loss journey. I have been working my ass off with no results. So I’m frustrated, at the moment, to say the least. I also started a new blog to chronicle my journey to Wrestlemania, the Superbowl of World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s a gift to myself for making it to my 40th birthday next year.

I feel like I’m busy, busy, busy, but getting nowhere. I feel like I’m in a rut. Not much is going on with my book and writing in general. Very few seem to be interested and it feels like all my hard-work was for nothing. Yeah, I feel that I accomplished something, so that’s a tiny success in itself. I suppose I should look at the glass as half full. It’s been a little hard as of late.

I watch people who are decent struggle to make good things happen for themselves. While I see those who treat people like shit, get ahead in life. New houses, new cars, new lovers etc. It just doesn’t seem to make sense to me right now. So many of my friends are struggling and out of work, while some others just sit on their asses living off the backs of their fellow humans. Why is this okay? Liars, cheats and low-down dirty people making it big. There must be something I’m missing. Sure the grass is not always greener, but damn it sure feels like it. I still question when my grass is going to be greener. I, by no means, am at rock-bottom, but I sure would like to be in a better place. Better than those who go after things in an under-handed way. That’s all.

So here I am, once again, trying to find that positive spirit. I wish it wasn’t so easy for me to lose it.