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Friday, January 21, 2011

If You're Not Married, You're Single?

So I've seen the above video a few times. The first time I watched, it was like a confirmation of what I'd been feeling prior to viewing. I learned the hard way, about being with someone and giving them "the most." I was committing marital acts and wasn't anyone's wife. I soon corrected the error of my ways. Then again, I saw this video when a friend and ex-boyfriend posted this on a social networking site. It made me chuckle and not in a good way. He dated a woman then broke-up with her. Apparently she was having issues letting go. (She, yeah right) What happened following their break-up, was a carbon copy of what I went through with him. They continued as if they were in a relationship, but he had the luxury of calling himself totally single. All the while she was in a committed relationship with him. In other words, he was her boyfriend but, she wasn't his girlfriend. I should make one correction. When I carried on something similar with him, I did not refer to him as "my man" or "my boyfriend" and I most certainly did not date him exclusively post break-up. Now getting back to the moment he posted the above video. I had a good laugh with him, as we always had when speaking of the non-girlfriend girlfriend, as I refer to her as. He always called her crazy and accused her of being a stalker. The picture he painted of her was that of an insecure mess. But still, he kept her around and allowed her to cater to his every whim, continued to take the most from her, and date without time lines. He went as far as to make a bet with me that by a certain time, he would be fully single and free of her. I won the bet but he never paid up, because he hid under the "If you're not married, you're single" umbrella. My bet with him was about him not being completely single and free of the non-girlfriend. He knows he lost the bet and till this day continues to carry on marital acts with this woman. They're supposedly looking for homes together. She's situated in all aspects of his life. He even has other women flaunting escapades they have with him. And still, she allows herself to be made a fool of. With him appearing to enjoy every second of having the benefits of a relationship, while maintaining his "single" status. It's rather disgusting. I go on this mini rant because I'm so tired of liars and hypocrites. They post things like the above video and talk about how they're too old to be "playing house." Yet it's exactly what they're doing. For this reason I have lost most of my respect and desire for a conventional relationship. It's all I've ever experienced with men, and all I seem to witness around me. There's a small part of me that still believes in coupling, but not enough to inspire me to seek it out. I don't know, what do you think? Is dating worth anything? Is there anything in between or if you're not married, are you single?

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