Friday, January 21, 2011
Sometimes Life Hands out "No's"
I am a mother of two children, well, they're not exactly children anymore. My son will turn 18 in November and my daughter just had her 16th birthday. I work with children, as I run a daycare. I have to say, I am scared for our future. I think every generation probably says the same thing, but wow! I used to live in New York City, now I live upstate in the country. You hear such nonsense about city folks. They're rude, they don't care about anything, they're always on the go, live a fast life, etc. There's the tough, inner city kid, stereotype all over movies and television. New Yorkers are depicted as wise-talking, hardcore, people. While you might find people fitting this description, as with anything, it's a generalization. All this to say, I have lived in the inner city and now in the suburbs, and I have never seen such rotten children as I have upstate. What is it about getting out of the city limits that has kids acting a fool? Is it sheer boredom? It's not to say that kids in the city are not unruly. It's a different kind of craziness. I used to watch the show Super Nanny, and think that those kids were just acting up for the camera, maybe prompted to do certain things for shock value. Well, let me tell you. Those kids with that kind of behavior exist. They exist up here in the suburbs. When I was a kid, if I ever dared to raise my hand at my mother, I'd probably not be able to use that hand for a few days. Curse at my mother? Yeah, if I didn't care to have teeth. I raised my kids with the same type of mentality. There was no way they would ever speak out of turn with me. I never really had to get spanked to know that my mother was not playing games with me. My kids turned out the same way. That's not what I see happening with my daycare kids. I don't know if the parents are too tired, or if society has given all the power to the children. It's like parents are afraid to say "No" to their children. Then when these same children go out into the world they don't deal well with rejection or play nice in society. I understand that there needs to be certain rules in effect to protect children, but I think we went too far. That's just my humble opinion. Right or wrong, my mother's method worked with me. When my mother said something, I did not question her or even protest. I knew there would be a consequence, whether it was a punishment or a smack to the bottom. I swat my children on the hand or the bottom at times. But mostly I didn't have to because they knew I was serious. I was consistent with them. I didn't hand out a bunch of empty threats. There was no arguing back and forth with them. I did not let them have their way when it got too difficult. It worked out well because my kids are great people. They know right from wrong, and they know that sometimes life hands out "No's"