Everyone is entitled to a bitch and moan day. That’s okay right? Well, today is mine. Hopefully, tomorrow won’t be the same. I keep seeing this quote online, “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been strong for too long.” by Author Unknown. Today, I feel like I’ve been strong for too long. Before I go on, I have to say that I’m normally not what the kids call a “hater.” I actually take joy in the success of people around me. Often times, I’m helping others more than I help myself. Just for today, I can’t help but ask, why them and not me?
By them, I mean people I know who have been grimy. A dead-beat dad who’s chosen to be estranged from my children. Lying, cheating ex-boyfriends. Shady family members who have stolen from me. How do their dreams come true before mine? I’m the parent who chose to stay and raise my children. I was the ever faithful partner in all of my relationships. Family, that’s sacred to me. I would never intentionally hurt my own flesh and blood.
So, I’m left wondering how the dead-beat dad has a lovely wife, other children, and a home in Florida. With a pool no less. An ex-fiancée finally purchasing a home. This, after he messed up our plans. Two weeks from closing on a home we were supposed to purchase, he’s caught being unfaithful. Yet I get turned down for a home loan on a stupid technicality. It makes no sense to me. Just for today…
I realize that there are people worse off.. Given the recent tragedies in the world, I should be thanking my lucky stars. Normally, I do. It may not seem like it, but I do believe in the law of Karma. I have a firm grasp of the “grass is not always greener” notion. Yet, here I am whining and complaining. Luckily, it’s just for today.