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Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Just For Today

Everyone is entitled to a bitch and moan day. That’s okay right? Well, today is mine. Hopefully, tomorrow won’t be the same. I keep seeing this quote online, “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you have been strong for too long.” by Author Unknown. Today, I feel like I’ve been strong for too long. Before I go on, I have to say that I’m normally not what the kids call a “hater.” I actually take joy in the success of people around me. Often times, I’m helping others more than I help myself. Just for today, I can’t help but ask, why them and not me?

By them, I mean people I know who have been grimy. A dead-beat dad who’s chosen to be estranged from my children. Lying, cheating ex-boyfriends. Shady family members who have stolen from me. How do their dreams come true before mine? I’m the parent who chose to stay and raise my children. I was the ever faithful partner in all of my relationships. Family, that’s sacred to me. I would never intentionally hurt my own flesh and blood.

So, I’m left wondering how the dead-beat dad has a lovely wife, other children, and a home in Florida. With a pool no less. An ex-fiancée finally purchasing a home. This, after he messed up our plans. Two weeks from closing on a home we were supposed to purchase, he’s caught being unfaithful. Yet I get turned down for a home loan on a stupid technicality. It makes no sense to me. Just for today…

I realize that there are people worse off.. Given the recent tragedies in the world, I should be thanking my lucky stars. Normally, I do. It may not seem like it, but I do believe in the law of Karma. I have a firm grasp of the “grass is not always greener” notion. Yet, here I am whining and complaining. Luckily, it’s just for today.


  1. I hear exactly where you're coming from May. Just when I decided to pursue my writing career seriously, my children's mother sabotaged my life basically. I fought for my children so I'm a single dad trying to make my way in the world. It's a struggle but I'm maintaining. It didn't kill me so I feel a little bit stronger because of all the adversity.

    Oh, and by the way, you're 100% right. Karma is real and I've seen her handi-work, right before my eyes. Now that I'm out of the situation and over it.....I'm so happy that it's over. Keep doing your thing May. Your reality will be brighter than their dreams are.

  2. Thank you! It's always nice to receive words of encouragement from those who understand. Thank goodness I was able to feel what I was feeling and move on. It was only for that day!

  3. Wow. There are plenty of days I might have written that post. I found you through a friend's blog and I am so glad I did! Count me as your newest follower; I will come back when I have more time and catch up on some more old posts; in the meantime, know you are NOT alone. Chin up; the best is yet to be! :-) P.S. I hope you will stop by and visit my blog, too!

  4. Pam thank you for those kind words! They were truly comforting!