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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Waking Up Mad at Someone Else

Have you ever woken up just so mad at someone? They haven't really done anything to you lately but, you're just mad as hell at them. I hate losing the power for that brief moment, when I succumb to the anger. Just when I think I'm over something, it sneaks back up, unexpectedly. Then, I feel powerless because I allowed them to have that power over me. Ugh! There's one thing I hate, which I suppose most people do, as well. It's being lied to. I hate that individuals underestimate my intelligence. At first, when I know someone is spinning a tall tale, I humor them. That's probably my biggest mistake. In an attempt not to make them feel uncomfortable, I say nothing. I suppose I could use past tense here. (There's no way I'm going back to that practice) For years, I had what I thought was a close friend, tell lie after lie. I think we both knew that he was the biggest bullshitter known to man. Yet, I continued a friendship with him. Because of my own doing, I wake up with regret. Regret, for wasting so many years on a friendship founded on a pack of lies. I enabled this person's behavior and now I have nerve to be upset about it. I think that simple fact makes me more angry than anything. I hate that I allowed myself to be closed off to better friendships and opportunities, on account of keeping this lying sack of shit in my life. My regret turns to anger, and in turn, has me waking up mad at someone else :(

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